KATE RICHARDS, TELLER OF TALES

Blogger of the Year Nomination

2011-01-21T08:30:00.000-08:00

I've been nominated for Blogger of the Year at the Boog Boost Blog! I'm so excited as it's based on a blog I did when my first book was released, Finally, My love. Since then I've had a few more, well, several, and each one is exciting...but I do have a special place in my heart for Finally, which is loosely based on my dh and I meeting 10 years ago.
Here is an excerpt:
Finally, My Love Excerpt

Daring a glance in his direction, she saw his sensual mouth quirk into a smile.
"I was remembering last night. You and me, together."
Her cheeks flushed a fluorescent pink. She knew exactly what he was talking about: their final phone sex session. In the past few months, it had gotten to where just his voice on the phone made her nipples harden. But her brain stalled, and he continued before she pulled it together enough to respond.
"I was thinking about how far away you were last night when we talked. But sexy even three thousand miles away."
What a sweet guy. Tears pricked the back of her eyes as she maneuvered around a Lexus with a woman talking on the cell phone and creeping along at forty miles an hour in the fast lane. Pleased by his words, she threw him a smile and squeezed his hand, but suddenly, the Lexus woman veered into their lane. Amelia slammed on the brakes. The car lurched.
Her sweet guy swore. Loudly. "Shee-it! Goddamn it!"

Check out the Book Boost Blog at http://thebookboost.blogspot.com/2011/01/book-boost-blogger-of-year-nominee-kate.html

Christmas Morning at the Carnivore Club

2010-12-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

I've posted a free read! A prequel to Christmas Afternoon Delight. Wonder what Barry was up to at dawn, before his date with Lily? Come on over to Got Romance Musings...

http://bit.ly/gCQbb8

Kate and Dana dine with the Dragon

2010-06-22T11:08:00.001-07:00

Dinner with the Dragon or How to Avoid Being the Main Course

Kate and Dana poked their heads back out into the hallway. "I don't see anyone," Dana said. "Should we just stay here?"

"I don 't think so," Kate replied, coughing. "I think the hall is a little less dusty, since it doesn't have any hangings or draperies. Let's see if we ca find our way to the dining room." She led the way, stepping bravely out in to the stone corridor. "Let's go to the right."

"Why the right?" Dana scurried to catch up with Kate's longer stride.

"Why not?"

"Okay." They came to a corner and Kate turned to the right. This time Dana just followed, shrugging her shoulders. They had to go one way or the other, and without any knowledge of the castle's layout, it didn't really matter.

"Wait." Dana laid a hand on Kate's arm. "Listen."

Finally, My Love News

2010-06-18T15:42:00.000-07:00

Today Finally, My Love is released and the author is too busy snoopy dancing to do anything else. Check it out at http://www.breathlesspress.com/ and tell me what you think!

He's a dragon?

2010-06-17T10:27:00.001-07:00

"What do you mean he's a dragon? And that sparkly thing is enough to tell you that?" Kate's voice rose to a squeak at the end.

"Kate, keep your voice down, please! I am pretty sure he doesn't know I am a dragonslayer - why would he, right? And I'd rather he didn't know we were aware of his other side. So lets just clean up, as best we can in this filthy room, and go out to dinner. Look here's a pitcher of water, we can at least get the dirt from that tunnel off our faces and hands."

Kate stared at Dana. "Dinner? And do you think we are likely to be dinner?"

"Ordinarily I wouldn't think so, but I know less than nothing about this place. So we need to stay aware and try not to do anything to make him think we're a danger to him."

"But you are a danger to him, right?"

Dana narrowed her eyes and fingered the knife hanging from her waistband through the cloth of her skirt. "Oh yeah, I am a big danger to him. The question is...does he know?"

Kate and Dana Meet the Dragon

2010-06-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

Kate followed Dana into a small bedchamber where they were evidently intended to refresh themselves. She turned in a slow circle, taking in the tattered bed curtains and window draperies, the mildewed bed covering, and the dusty stone floor. "This is where we are supposed to clean up? It's filthy." She shook out her hem, sneezing as a cloud of dust rose around her. "Something is so wrong here."

Dana looked up from examining something in her hand. "There's something wrong, yes."

"Do you suppose that man even knows he has a dragon on the battlements?" Kate sneezed.

"The dragon isn't on the battlements right now, Kate." Dana looked back down at her hand.

"What do you mean it's not on the battlements? We've been underground - how do you know that? And what is that in your hand?"

"Don't get cranky on me now," Dana said. "Look at this." She held her hand out to Kate, palm up.

"What is that? It's shiny."

"Haven't you ever seen a dragon scale before? That was no man, Kate, or at least not a man like you mean. That was the dragon, and we're really in deep now."

Kate and Dana: The Dragon

2010-06-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

Kate saw Dana stash the weapons and managed to grab a small copper dagger herself. She didn't know there were copper weapons, but it was the closest one to hand and she slipped it into her bodice as she began to move toward the stairs.

"Welcome to you both," the man said as they began to climb the crumbling stone steps toward where he stood. "I trust we haven't had you stumbling around here in the dimness long."

Kate looked around and was stunned to see that the walls had stopped glowing. She realized they had begun to fade at about the point where the man appeared above them and the little villager had disappeared. Odd, but not something she wanted to deal with right now. There were a few torches stuck into brackets on the stair walls, as though they had expected company and thought to light the way. Stranger and stranger.

Dana, as usual, led the way, the braver of the two. "I presume we are not the only guests for dinner, sir?"

"Alas, you are, ladies. I find that it's difficult to attract company up here on the tor. But we will enjoy a fair repast and each other's company as best we can." He gestured for them to precede him through the heavy, banded oaken door and into a stone corridor. "Up one more set of stairs and you shall see my castle proper."

They continued down the hallway and came to a slightly broader set of steps, these better lit, with more torches, than the last. Before they began to climb these, the man turned and bowed deeply from the waist. "I neglect my duties. I am Simon Leclerq, and this is my home. I bid you welcome."

Dana extended her hand, "I am Dana and this is my companion Kate. We have traveled far to come here, and are grateful for your hospitality."

Kate stared at Dana, speechless. In this strangest of circumstances, Dana seemed to know how to behave. Did she travel the space-time continuum often? But she dipped her head as well, when the man bowed to her.

At the top of the stairs the decor became moderately better, with glassed candle holders mounted on the walls providing a glowing light. But the floors and walls were still stone without any more adornment, and the stone looked a bit crumbly to Kate's uneducated eye.

"Here is a chamber where you may take your ease and refresh yourselves before dining." And, opening the door, the man left them behind to explore this new and strange room.

Kate and Dana Under the castle

2010-06-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

"We are, said their host, "Officially under the castle."
Dana and Kate looked at him. It didn't seem as though they had been traveling that long, but underground, with the glowing walls lighting their way, it had been hard to tell distance.

"What is this room?" Kate asked.
"The armory," Dana answered, looking around with frank admiraton. "What do we... Where did he go?" Their guide was gone and the two women found themselves alone in this large chamber, which they now knew to be under the castle. There were vast numbers of weapons, all of a rather medieval nature as far as they could see.

Kate was nearly paralyzed with fear, but Dana bounced on the balls of her feet in apparent glee.

"Why are you looking so happy?"

"Because if I have weapons we might not die." Dana was already hefting the swords and daggers, trying their heft to find the best fit. She lifted her skirt and tore the skirt of her underdress into strips, fashioning loops to suspend various knives about her person. She actually began to hum, low under her breath.

Kate shook her head. "I'm glad you feel better, but we still don't know what the haps are here. Might I remind you we're under a huge fortress with a dragon as a cake topper?"

"Oh, I know that," Dana grimaced. "But we have weapons now. And you have to have some on you too. I don't suppose you know how to use a sword? No, I suppose not."

Kate picked up a small knife with two fingers, looking at it with her nose wrinkled. "The only thing I know how to do with this is cut a steak."

"Funny thing, we are serving steak tonight," A deep voice boomed from the top of a stairwell they had not noticed. "Won't you ladies accompany me as we shall all be dining very shortly and I am sure you would like time to freshen up first."

Their eyes moved up to see a man garbed in rich attire standing at the top of the stairs.

"Oh shit," Kate said.

Dana just stuffed one more knife into the breast of her gown.

The plot thickens

2010-06-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

Kate and Dana looked at each other, then the door of the house, then shrugged. They had to do something, soon, or night would fall and who knew what dangers lurked in this place after dark.

Kate leaned closer to Dana, "I'm getting hungry. Do you suppose they will offer us anything to eat?"

"If they do, it will probably not be anything we recognize, but I'm hungry, too."

The door opened a little more as they approached, allowing them to slip inside, then it was closed with a bang behind them. When they turned to face the door, they saw that it was being barred with a large piece of iron by a little man no taller than Dana's waist.

"Ummm...hello?" Kate said. "You signaled?" It sounded trite, but she couldn't think of any other way to say it, even if it did earn her a disgusted look from her companion.

"I did," he said, turning back toward them and crossing his arms across his very broad chest. "Did they send you?"

"They?" Kate was startled, but Dana recovered quickly.

"Yes, or at least she did."

"She," he drew a deep breath and smiled. "If She sent you, then you are the ones we've been waiting for." He hurried over to a door next to the hearth, his short, bowed legs almost wobbing in his haste. "Come this way, hurry."

Kate cast a regretful look at the fragrant stew simmering over the wood fire, but apparently there were issues more pressing than the feeding of guests, and she turned away and followed Dana toward the door.

"Hurry! It's almost dark." The little man's voice sounded far away, as though he had entered a tunnel, and when Kate passed through the door, ducking her head as she encounted the low ceilinged stairway leading down, down, deep into the earth under the house.

"Crap," Dana said. "My claustrophobia is going to act up for sure."

"Take my hand," Kate reached forward through the darkness. "If we don't get separated, maybe you'll feel better."

"Oh yeah, the big bad dragonslayer has to hold hands to keep from freaking out in the scary tunnel. This will look great in my memoirs."

Kate held onto Dana's hand and followed her down the stairs, flight after flight of rickety wooden steps that seemed more made for the little man's size than theirs, until she lost count of how many they had descended. But finally they stood in the dirt, only a little hunched over from the low ceiling.

"You doing okay?" Kate asked Dana, leaning close to her ear to try not to let the little man know what they discussed.

"Fine. So far anyway. You'd better let go of my hand, because I may need them at some point. But thanks."

Kate looked around at the tunnel. It had been carved out of bedrock, and the walls were nearly smooth, except for some marks from the carving tools. They were a grayish white and..."Dana, I can see."

"Of course you can see," Dana said. "Why wouldn't you?

"Dana, do you see any light around here?"

Dana looked around. There were no lights, at least not in terms of light fixture. Yet is was possible to see everything around them clearly. She turned and faced the little man, who stood tapping his foot in front of them.

"Sir...may I aske your name? I am Dana and this is my friend Kate, and we have been very rude not to introduce ourselves."

He looked up and up at them and grimaced. "We don't have time to slow down. I told you, it's almost dark! But if you must, I am Cobwen, one of the village elders, and am charged with setting you off on your quest."

He began to hurry off down the passageway, his legs covering a surprising amount of ground for such a short guy.

"I think we're headed toward the castle," Dana said.

"I think so too, oh, where did he go?"

Cobwen had disappeared around a corner, and when they reached him he stood in a large, by comparison with the tunnel, anyway, open chamber filled with ...

Kat and Dana at the Village

2010-06-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Every house looked shut down, shutters closed tightly, not even a dog in a dooryard to bark and draw attention to the visitors walking down the dusty main street of the village. Although it was still a dirt road, there were some disturbingly modern-seeming elements.

"Is that a solar panel?" Kate stood on tip-toe to try and get a better look at the roof of the nearest cottage.

"It sure looks like it," Dana answered, head tilted to one side. "Castles and dragons and solar panels. Even for me this is an unusual day."

"Well, we really need some answers. I'm going to knock on the door." Kate strode up the lipstick red door of the little house and rapped, then banged when nobody answered. "I can hear them in there," she said, frustrated.

They walked down the road, taking turns knocking on the door of each house they passed, but the results were the same. After just a few minutes, they got to the other end of the street and ran out of cottages.

"What do we do now?" Kate asked. "I don't really want to go too far away from where we fell in."

"No, me either," Dana tapped a finger against her cheek. "I guess we had better turn around and take our chances at the castle. I know we're here for a purpose, but I hate to face that dragon unarmed. I'm just not used to it!"

"You're right, but I don't know what else to try." Kate's mind was thinking furiously, trying to come up with other options, but there just weren't any to be had. So the two friends turned and walked back down the village street, limping slightly now, slippers all raggedy on the bottom and hardly worth even wearing.

Just as they came again to the first house, the one where they had noticed the solar panels, the door opened and a hand came out, waving. "Come here, quick!"

Kate and Dana - Part 5

2010-06-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

The pathway around the grassy hillock looked smooth, and would have been had the ladies been wearing Nikes, but in satin slippers with only slightly thickened soles, every rock came through and by the time they got to where they could see the village itself, Dana was limping and Kate had uttered more than one unladylike word.
"I don't like this," Dana said.
"I don't either. My feet are one big bruise, I think," Kate replied.
Dana gave her a level look. "I don't mean our feet. Look where we are. The village is only a few hundred yards away, but I don't see any kind of activity. No farm carts headed into market, no animals grazing in the fields. And the crops look decidedly neglected.

Kate had never been as observant as Dana. Of course, she worked in an office, and Dana was practically a superhero with her work in dragonslaying. "It does look kind of quiet."

"And, in my experience, that's never good."

"But the crops are there, and the village doesn't look bad enough to be abandoned. At least not unless it wa pretty recently. I see laundry out on the lines behind some of the cottages."

"Right. And that actually is more alarming. Why did everyone suddenly pick up and leave? Unless maybe they are cowering inside. Something bad has happened, probably as recently as today. Something frightening enough to stop everyone's regular activities."

"Any ideas?" Kate was very happy to let Dana postulate. Crises were her venue.

"No, not really. But he," she pointed over her shoulder, "The big winged guy on the tower, might very well be part of it."

"You think he's new? I don't know much about these things, but I thought that tower was his usual spot. With the flag and all, he landed there as though it were an everyday matter."

Dana frowned. "Yes, I think so, too. But what makes today different? That's what we have to find out." She leaned on Kate's arm and shook a stone out of her slipper. The bottom was starting to look a bit shredded, but that couldn't be helped.

"Okay, then," Kate said. "If you agree, we will just continue to the village. We can knock on doors and see if anyone will open up and talk to us - tell us what's going on."

"I don't have a better idea." Dana shrugged and they continued down the path. The crops did look a bit neglected, but that could just be bad farming, although Dana knew people would starve if the farmsers hereabouts were that bad at caring for their grains. Other than that, the path was well maintained, a smooth downgrade leading toward the open street of the small village.

As the got closer, Kate noticed that the houses were mostly overgrown cottages with a Tudor flair. The walls were nearly all white and made of what at least looked like stucco to her, with exposed decorative timbers on their front walls. "I think this village is a little nice for serfs to inhabit, at least the kind I've heard of."

"It is nice, isn't it?" Dana stopped at the edge of the village and looked around. "It gets stranger and stranger. It almost feels modern for some reason."

Kate was looking up and down the street as well, and began to walk forward. Dana followed her, but they were both completely on edge. If this was the Middle Ages, as Kate had more or less assumed, then people lived much better than she had read. Colorful flowers overflowed from pots lining brick walkways leading up to the houses. The doors were painted bright colors, red, green, a couple blue.

Suddenly she stopped walking and grabbed Dana's sleeve. "Dana...what is that on that roof?"

Kate and Dana...Part 4

2010-06-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

The road to the ruined castle was steep and winding, and didn't look at all inviting. Where they now stood was a bit of a low rise that gave them a view of the surrounding countryside. As Kate looked, she could see forest to her left, wrapping around behind her, deep and dark and not welcoming. The castle was of course in front, but to her right, a path led around a hillock, and over its grassy top she could just see what looked to be a belltower.

Dana leaned on Kate's arm and shook a rock out of her slipper. She held the satiny shoe in front of her and stared at it. "This is not my shoe."

Kate looked at her shoe, then took in the rest of her friend. "Dana, that's not what you were wearing this morning in the library, is it?" She knew it wasn't, but babbling seemed the only thing to do in such an odd situation.

Dana looked down at her outfit. It was an emerald green dress, made of a very heavily woven fabric, ground length, and a corset-like contraption held in her waist and made her usually subtle bosom seem to float above the device, threatening to spill over at any moment. "No, I wasn't wearing this. I would remember." Her face was a picture.

Kate's outfit was also not part of her ordinary library-going wardrobe. She was pretty sure she had been wearing leggings and an oversized USC sweatshirt, but now she was clad in a bronze gown in a similar style to Dana's, and a twitch of the skirt showed her the same impractically soled slippers.

"Well, this is a problem," Kate said.

"Particularly, since I don't seem to have a single weapon with me," Dana patted her sides as though a broadsword might be concealed there, "and that is most definitely a dragon up there."

"He could be nice?" Kate looked hopeful.

"Yes, he could be." But Dana didn't look like she thought that likely.

"Well we can't stay here forever. What do you want to do?" Kate wasn't a dragonslayer like Dana, she was an ordinary, run of the mill person who hadn't a heroic bone in her flip-flop wearing body.

Dana turned in a slow circle. "I can't think of a good reason to go into that forest, and I don't think these silly shoes will handle the rocky way up to that crumbling heap. I don't want to go up there without a better idea of what I'm facing anyway, and I have to get weapons, somehow. So," she pointed to her right, "I vote for the village, or whatever it is, over there. Someone will know what's going on here - I hope."

There was nothing to argue with there, Dana's logic seemed flawless, so the two confused women set off down the path toward the belltower, hoping to find a village at its base, with someone who might be able to tell them what the heck was going on.

Kate and Dana and the Book of Shadows -Part 3

2010-06-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

Kate leaned away from the book, looking startled. Dana, however, leaned closer and the lady grasped her hand and tugged, causing Dana to tumble head over heels into the world behind the picture. Kate stared a second and then, as the lady's hand stretched again, shrugged and took it, entering the picture only slightly more gracefully than her companion, landing on hard ground in a sitting position with a thump.

After a moment of darkness, her vision cleared. Yes, she was sitting on the ground, and Dana was lying face down next to her. But Dana didn't seem to be conscious - her eyes were closed and her breathing sounded a little raspy and uneven.

"Dana." She leaned over to look at her friend's face. "Dana, are you okay?" There was no immediate reply and Kate wasn't sure what to do. Her knowledge of first aid was sketchy and hadn't been updated since high school. Don't move the victim - that was all she could remember for sure. So, for the next eternity, although it was probably only a few minutes, she sat next to Dana and petted her hair, trying not to panic.

Suddenly, Dana drew a deep breath and groaned. "What happened?" She opened her eyes and struggled to sit up. With a little help from Kate, she managed it, and her eyes popped wide as she took in the vista in front of her.

Kate followed her line of vision and together they stared. The castle was there, ancient and crumbling, but a crimson flag fluttered from one crenelated tower and let them know that it was not abandoned. It seemed to have a golden image on it, but they were too far away to make out exactly what it was.

A long path wound up the side of the mountain, leading to the fortress, and Kate saw a small pack team making its way up. Supplies. Another sign of life. And then, from behind the castle, rising up into the late afternoon sunshine, glinting off its wings - wings the same rose gold as the lettering on that last page in the book of shadows - came the dragon. Wings flared, it settled onto the top of the flagged tower, then in an instant disappeared.

The looked at each other and back at the castle. What did this mean? Where were they?

Kate remembered something. "Dana, where did the lady go?" Because she was not there, had not been there since they arrived.

"I don't know." Dana moved to her knees then to stand up. "But I think I know where we need to go for answers."

Kate and Dana and the Book of Shadows - A Free Read

2010-06-08T12:59:00.001-07:00

Where were we? Oh yes, the glowing book of shadows in the library...

Kate leafed through the pages. The letters seemed to move and dance under her fingertips, more texture than a printed page should have. Each page held spells for different situations. There were love spells, spells to repel an enemy, or to do worse to them, spells to heal ailments. She glanced as she turned the pages, watching the letters glitter under the flourescent library lights. The drawings were so three dimensional, the colors so rich and vibrant, she expected one of the little figures to leap out of the book and plop down on the couch with her and Dana.

"Anything there, Kate?"

"Anything? Everything." Kate drew a breath as she reached a page with an illustration of a sorcerer and his wand. In the picture, the gowned magician wielded a long wand to turn a base metal - maybe iron, she wasn't sure- to gold. "Look at this, Dana."

"Alchemy?" Dana asked, leaning closer to see better.

"Sort of, but I never heard of it being attempted by pointing a wand at it."

Dana gasped. "Look, the wand is sparking, right into the air." There were indeed live sparks in the air over the little drawing.

It was hard to turn away from the sorcerer, who seemed to be aware of them, staring out of his page with blazing black eyes, but the book had ideas of its own. As soon as Kate lifted her hand from the page, it turned of its own volition to another section, about halfway through the large volume.

On this page the letters were no longer merely gold but a glowing rose gold. And nearly half the page was taken up by another living illustration, this one a woman with long, white blonde hair that reached nearly to her waist. She wore a girdled dress that looked like something from the middle ages, and she was holding a sword in her left hand.

In the background was a castle, on a steep cliff overlooking a stormy sea. And in the air, above the castle, flying toward the lady, was...

"Oh shit," Dana said, earning a shush from a nearby librarian, "There goes my vacation.

Kate and Dana and the Book of Shadows - A Free Read

2010-06-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

Dana slipped into the library to find Kate sitting in a big chair with the sunlight streaming over her shoulder. Kate had a big book open on her lap and the light was illuminating the words in a way that made Dana think it was not an ordinary book.

"Hey," Dana said. "What's up?"

Kate jumped a little. It seems she had been so intent on her reading she hadn't heard Dana approach. Which was saying somethin, because when Dana Dragonslayer approaches, she clanks a little from the weapons she carries everywhere for her work.

Dana laughed. Kate always makes her giggle, even when she is at her most serious. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. What are you reading?"

Kate looked up at her friend. "A very old Book of Shadows. I actually came her for a quick read, maybe a nice Steph Beck, something with a bit of fantasy, but when I went to the back shelves this book lit up."

"Lit up? You mean it looked interesting?"

"No," Kate said. "Lit up, golden, rays of light illuminating the dust motes. Like in the fairy tales."

"And what did you say it was again?"

"A Book of Shadows. A witch's spell book. But I come here all the time, and I swear it was never there before. So why is it there now?"

"Oh good, a mystery," Dana said, plopping down next to Dana and looking over her shoulder at the text. "It really is glowing, isn't it?"

"Oh, Dana, can you see it too?"

"Can't everyone?" She looked around the room, but it was obvious that nobody else was staring at the gleaming book. "I guess not."

"If you can see it, and you're not even a witch, then it must mean you are supposed to be helping me."

"Helping you do what?"

"I have no idea." Kate grinned. "Sounds fun, doesn't it?"

"I guess," Dana narrowed her eyes. "As long as it doesn't involve dragons. I came in here today to pick up a book to read, because I am on vacation!"

(to be continued)

Erotica or Not-Erotica

2010-06-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

As I learn to be a writer of erotica I have found out something disturbing about myself. While my mind has no trouble envisioning scenes of passionate lovemaking, while I love reading other authors stories of wild menages, my Catholic school fingers have trouble typing the words it takes to tell the stories as clearly as they should. Having left that religion long behind for earth based pagan religions (read Witch), my fingers have apparently lagged behind and want me to use words that, well, don't exactly express my scenes in the way I want them to. But I have had a long talk with them, and they have agreed to try! So we shall see.... I don't want to have to get out the yardstick~!

Why writing is like knitting

2010-06-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

I sit here surrounded by wip's. I have more stories in progress than I like to admit to, one rewrite requested, two contest entries and an anthology submission, a young adult requested by my nephews that I think will be a really great story (I have to think of a pen name for my ya work) AND about six of my in progress knitting projects. I know life is a wip, but why is it that the beginning and ending of a project are so much more fun than the middles. Life is Not like an Oreo cookie!

More on Series Romance

2010-06-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

I have been wondering lately if every author has the same experience I have. We are told to keep our secondary characters in the background and pay attention to the main storyline. And as an editor I can see how important that is. But I find my secondary characters, the best friend, cousin, acquaintance from work...all have such strong personalities fighting to come through that all I can do is promise their own story to keep them in line. And often they turn out to be so interesting that I'm thrilled with the result.

Barbara, who will star in my second Carnivore Club, had a very minor role in the last book, but as I started to write the second one, I said to my husband, Barbara is a dominatrix! Who knew? (He thinks I'm nuts, but he's happy it makes me happy to do this lol) Anyway, I'm loving writing Barbara's story, and I can't wait to see what character will be the next hero or heroine in this ongoing tale of small town folks who get together to celebrate their uniqueness on Tuesdays at the Carnivore Club

Writing Series Romance

2010-06-03T11:07:00.000-07:00

I never set out to write serial stories, but it seems as though each one leads to the next. For example, once I told the story of Finally, My Love, I realized that the internet is a place where so many people meet that there must be a million stories in the naked www. So that led to PerfectPartners.com followed by Internet Romance Three, Who is that Woman? That one is not quite done.

Next I wrote Confessions from the Carnivore Club: Dave and Nancy's Story. Once I walked into the story, I knew that everyone I encountered had their own story. Barbara's story is coming next.

I think the advantage to short or novella length stories is that they lend themselves easily to this sort of serial. After all, I often want to hear more about the secondary characters in books I read. And this way, I get to hear all about them.

Release Day is Coming

2010-06-02T20:41:00.000-07:00

Release Day is coming for Finally, My Love and I will be sharing the day at GRR with multi-pubbed author Olivia Starke who is also having a release the same day! We will party all day and give away prizes!

Dear Diary

2010-05-04T07:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,
I'm back home, safe. And so are most of the people who were involved in the Dragon protest. The story is too long to fit in here, but I'll put it in my longer journal entries, because it's important not to forget any detail. Especially since I learned something about Dragons that I would never have believed possible. Gotta go get some sleep now, or I'll fall asleep right here. It's good to be home.
Dana

Guest Blogging!

2010-04-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hi, this is Kate again. I'm going to be blogging tomorrow, May 1 at Gina Gordon's 12 Days of Sexy Times. http://blog.ginagordon.net. It should be fun, so come by and see what scenes I've selected from my favorite sexy books of all time. Also, check out Gina's new book coming out May 28, called Wicked Ride. It looks to have more than its own share of sexy scenes!

I haven't seen any posts from Dana today, hope she's okay up there in the mountains...

Dana's Diary

2010-04-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,
When I was told the assignment involved protesting dragons, I pictured dragons in their human form carrying signs and insisting on equal treatment under mining law or something. People need to be clearer when they request my help. Shoot, there it goes again. Someone is really going to get hurt around here.
Talk to you later,
Dana

New Book from Breathless Press

2010-04-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry to interrupt Dana's diary, but I wanted to report that Breathless Press has just accepted Perfect Partner's Dot Com, the second in my Tales of Internet Romance series. This is a humorous take on the internet dating site scene, and I love working with Breathless, I'm really excited.
Kate

Dear Diary...

2010-04-28T10:43:00.001-07:00

Dear Diary,
I don't have too much time to write today, because the dragon problem up here above Bentley, California is worse than I thought. It's just lucky I brought all my gear. Protesting dragons? ttyl
Dana

Dear Diary, Love Dana

2010-04-27T09:38:00.001-07:00

Dear Diary,
As it turns out, not everyone had my cell phone. Seymour didn't have it. I'm not sure why not, but he didn't. So I woke up this morning to the unbelievable, Seymour knocking on my door. I didn't even know he was in town. There's been a string of dragon related problems in a town about fifty miles south of here, right in the mountains. I'll have to head there later today and see if I can figure out how to fix the problem. It's very unusual, they're not flaming anyone or anything, they are protesting? I have no idea what that means, but I'm heading out first thing in the morning and I'll fill you in when I know more. Wish me luck!

Dana's Diary

2010-04-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,
What a day it was today! I thought the phone would never stop ringing. I live in a tiny corner of Nevada at the foot of the Sierras, so you would think that things would be very quiet here. And usually they are, but that reporter who was at the hotel the other night, when that woman was killed, apparently worked for some national gossip sheet. He, or maybe his editor, thought that I made a good story for their front page. Great, now people all over the country can get a gander at my working clothes while they wait to buy their groceries. Until today I had a listed phone number. But now that people think they've located an expert, they all want to find out if their next door neighbor or the librarian is a dragon. I can't seem to convince them that I can't tell over the phone about people I've never met. And not all dragons are villains. By about nine this morning I stopped trying to explain, by ten I was hanging up on them, and by noon, I just unplugged the phone, although I hated to do it. But my family and the police have my cell number in case of emergency. I'm going to bed! Nite .

Edits

2010-04-20T07:52:00.001-07:00

Well...I got my first edits today and I'm anxious to get started on them. I can already see how my editor's suggestions will make the story move better as well as increase its heat.

Book cover for Finally, My Love

2010-04-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

Well, here's the cover of Finally. My Love. Thank you so much Annie Melton, the artist to did this lovely cover for my first story to be published very soon by Breathless Press.

Finally, My Love News

2010-04-16T10:00:00.001-07:00

Well, I've heard from my editor, Clarissa, and my cover artist, Annie, and I am incredibly lucky to have them, I can tell already. I'm not sure how much I'll have to do with my story, but I'm excited to see what she comes up with. As an editor myself, I know how much a story comes together with another set of eyes to help polish it up. I must remember that! And I can't wait to see the cover art! More news as I get it.

I really think online romance is a great genre in itself. Everywhere I go people are telling me their stories, and they have a fantastic happy ever after rating. Not once has someone told me that they met someone online and are now divorced from them. I'm sure it happens, and I know from personal experience that everyone we meet online is not the end all, but that's life. If you want to share your stories, we'd all love to hear them.

Spring

2010-03-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

Spring is here and it's time to start getting ready for summer...well, warm weather at least. I'd hate to wish spring away. Hope everyone is having a great growing season.

Spring!

2010-03-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

Spring is coming soon, I can tell because my nephews and nieces all went to Diaz Lake up in the Sierras for the freeze your butt off and maybe catch a trout South Inyo County Early Season Opener. If my sis in law's pics are any indication, they had a great time and caught at least one fish between them. Anyway, if you're ever in the area on the coldest weekend in March, check it out!

Valentine's Day Swing by Kate

2010-02-08T12:49:00.001-08:00

The entire living room was wall to wall groping, naked bodies. Why had coming here seemed like such a good idea at the time? At least, why had I allowed myself to be dragged here by my date for the evening? Alcohol had to have been involved, in fact it had been. I didn’t drink often and at some point in the dinner party, after the cocktails, wine with dinner, and that coffee drink after that tasted like more proof than coffee, everyone had decided to pack up and check out the private club. And I had laughed and jumped right in the car along with my date and the other couples who had made up our Valentine’s Day party. I was only out with this guy because it was Valentine’s Day and I didn’t want to stay home alone, so I accepted an office friend’s fixup. A dinner party in a nice restaurant sounded safe enough. Right.
It had seemed like a lark, a funny idea, and a story I could tell later in life about my wild evening. But by the time we were at the big house in the back of hell and gone (really, that was the address, I’m pretty sure), I was sobering up and really about half panicked. And in my underwear. Only my underwear.
It was a rule, to get in you had to strip down to bra and panties, unless you were a guy, then there was most likely no bra. And the woman at the door, she had to weigh at least five hundred pounds, and she had locked up all of the clothes and purses and things, for safekeeping, she said. My date had the claim check.
I looked around the house, which looked much too expensive for the activities it was hosting. I’m no expert on furniture or glassware, but the broken vase by the door had probably cost more than my car, and those stains were not going to come out of the couch. My date had dumped me for a blonde with lavender see-through panties and a big smile. I was now completely sober, and freaked out and I wanted to go home.
So there I stood, bra, panties, no purse, no clothes, no ride, pressed against the sliding glass door at the back of the house, considering calling 911 just to get the place raided so I could get the hell out of there. . Even if they took me to jail, it would be an improvement. They gave you a nice orange jumpsuit there, right? The cold of the glass against my skin was a comforting, because the room was filled with sweaty, grunting people, and way overheated. Could people actually raise a room’s temperature with enough friction?
Then, the cold glass was gone, and I was falling. Falling into the arms of a fully dressed man who had opened the door and was standing there looking appalled, and holding her against his very muscular chest. Amazing what a person could notice in stressful situations. He pushed me away from him and stared, from the tip of my auburn up-do rapidly becoming a down-do, past black lace bra and matching panties, and down to the tips of my red polished toes.
“What the hell are you doing in my house?” he demanded, shaking me until my teeth rattled.
“Nothing. I’m doing nothing.”
“Then why are you in your underwear? Get out of my house.” He attempted to push me back through the door, odd since he wanted me out, but I clung to his arms. No way was I going back in there.
“I am out of your stupid house,” I sobbed, giving in to the hysteria I had been holding back until now. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m in your damned yard. Let. Me. Go.”
He cooperated, pushing me away from him so that I fell backwards against the rough wood siding. “Happy? Now, would you care to explain what is going on here in my house? I leave for a few days and I come back to,” he gestured wildly in the direction of the sliding glass door. “This, this, well, words fail me.”
“Me too,” I wailed. “I had too much wine with dinner, and I almost never drink, and then there was that thing with the coffee. Vodka, brandy maybe, I don’t know. All I know is that the next thing I know I was in your living room in my underwear. And did you see what those people are doing in there?”
“Those people? Not you?”
“I still have my underwear on, don’t I? I think you have to take at least some of it off to do, well,” I pointed at a couple almost up against the door. “That.”
“I suppose you do. Well, maybe you can tell me who is responsible.”
“How would I know that? I was on a blind date, and we were all out at dinner, then they wanted to come to a private club and I came. The rest is kind of a blur.”
“But you didn’t...”
“No, I didn’t. I just didn’t have any way to get home.”
“Did you have clothes on when you got here?” He was trying to look politely away, but not really succeeding. His voice, however, was not as loud as it had been.
“Yes, of course I did.”
“Then where are they?”
“That gigantic woman at the front door has them; my date had the ticket for them pinned in his boxers.”
“Well that could hurt couldn’t it? Straight pin? Oh, never mind. So you came in, gave your clothes to that woman and then what?
I had to stop and think. What had happened then? Oh, yeah. “Before the woman there was a man standing by the door. He was taking money.”
“Can you describe him?”
“No, not really, he was tall and heavyset. And he had a weird laugh, I remember now, kind of ‘heh, heh’ like a movie villain.”
“Okay, then.”
“What?” He was too calm, suddenly.
“My brother. He must have gotten into town and found my spare key. I have to kill him now.”
“You can’t kill your brother.” I was sure of that, it was just wrong even if he did host swinger parties in your living room.
“No, I can. I have a gun. Or I could strangle him.” He seemed to be actually considering his options. “The pool isn’t heated right now, but if you drown in it, does that matter?”
I grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “No, you can’t kill him. But maybe there is something we can do.” Now that I wasn’t afraid of being dragged into that mess on the Berber carpeted floor, I was calm and wanting revenge myself. “First, give me that jacket. I can’t plot in my undies.”
He handed me the buttery soft brown leather jacket and I pulled it over my shoulders. There, much better already. He was so much taller than I was that it hung over my thighs and covered anything I was especially worried about. Now I could think clearly. He was not only tall, but had the most amazing grey eyes framed by long, sooty lashes. And night black hair that reflected the light, just like Superman’s in the comics, almost blue-black.
There was a bench over in a corner of the yard, mostly concealed by trees. I pointed to it. “Let’s go over there and sit down for a moment and make our plans.”
“What do you have in mind?” In shirtsleeves, he was broad shouldered and that distracted me for a moment.
I started to lead the way to the bench. The panic had faded and I was ready for action. “You say your brother has made this mess. Let’s make him clean it up. By the way, my name is Joelli.
“Nice to meet you, Joelli. I’m Aaron.” He sat on the bench and patted the marble next to him. “So, you have a plan?”
“I do. I take it this isn’t the first time your brother has pulled a stunt like this?”
“Well,” he hesitated. “He hasn’t actually set up a swinger’s club in my house before, but he does have a history of being a major pain in my ass.”
“So you aren’t worried if he is humiliated?”
“No, I would love him to be humiliated. How can you arrange it?”
I held out my hand. “Cell phone? Mine is in my purse, currently being held hostage.” I took the smartphone from him and dialed. “Hello, Jerry? Do you still do the bridal showers? And can you reach any of the other boys? They are? Right now?” I covered the phone and whispered, “They’re all out at a bar together, and have their costumes and stuff in their cars” I went back to the phone, “Gerry, hun, here’s what I need you to do.”
Aaron watched me closely through the call, one eyebrow cocked, and a twinkle in those gorgeous eyes. “Should I ask? Or wait to be surprised with the rest of them?”
“Up to you. If we wait back here, we can watch through the door and enjoy the mayhem from a distance.”
It was no trouble to sit and talk with Aaron. It turned out we both worked in banking and we had a wonderful time talking business and accounting and other dry topics, side by side on the narrow marble bench, while we waited for my plan to come to fruition.
About fifteen minutes later, we could see the fun begin through the flat screen of the glass doors.
“We need popcorn for this show,” Aaron quipped.
“Yes or maybe bonbons.”
“You get bonbons at the movies too?” He smiled at me as though I had done a very smart thing.
“Of course, but never nachos.” I nodded wisely. “The grease from the cheese always soaks through the box and ends up in my lap.”
The movie we were watching at that particular moment was an action film. Probably European, as all the fleeing actors were naked, or nearly so. The policemen menacing them were wearing uniforms that had never seen the inside of a police station. They were tear-aways that were customarily worn to do lap dances, but Jerry and his fellow strippers seems to relish the role of ‘real’ policeman as they waved their nightsticks (vibrators, but as long as nobody pushed any buttons by mistake...) and we could see their mouths moving as they ushered the naked, flailing guests toward the front door.
I saw at least one local politician in the mix, along with my date from earlier and his friends. Also, a local TV weather bunny who I had often thought looked more like a cocktail waitress than the meteorologist she claimed to be. And, yes, they were fake; nobody’s boobs bounce like that if they are original models.
At first, we stared in fascination, but once Aaron began to laugh, I joined him. We held each other to keep from sliding off the narrow bench as tears ran down my face. Then the room and the ones down the hallway finally cleared and Jerry came and opened the door to wave at us.
“All safe now, ma’am, sir.”
“Thank you officer,” I fought to stay serious and play with my friend in his new role. “I believe you saved my virtue.”
At that, Jerry grinned and pointed at my companion. “I’m not sure about that, Joelli. The way that guy is looking at you; your virtue may still be in danger. Shall I run him downtown?”
“No, but you can take me back with you if you guys have room in the car? What are there, five or six of you?”
“Six, but you can sit on someone’s lap. C’mon. Let’s find your clothes and get going.”
Aaron stood up, pulling me with him. “I don’t think your virtue would be safe sitting on a male stripper’s lap in a car full of the guys. If you don’t mind, I will go find my brother, make sure I get my key back, and then I’ll give you a ride home.”
“Oh, no. You don’t have to do that. You have a real mess to clean up here, and it’s so late.”
He slipped an arm around my shoulder and hugged me against his side. “No, it’s no trouble. This has been quite a fascinating evening, and I would like to get to know you better. You saved me from a house full of sex maniacs. I would like to walk you to your door and maybe even get a goodnight kiss, if you don’t think it will compromise you too badly.”
I lifted to tiptoe and pressed my lips to his. “Before I saved you, you had already saved me. I would be very pleased to have you take me home.”
His other arm joined the first and he pressed me full against him, so I knew he was not too turned off the the pervs writhing on his living room floor. When he kissed back, I never wanted it to end, but finally he pushed me back a little.
“Good, because I think you’re gorgeous in black lace, and have a quick mind, but I’d love an explanation of how you ended up in my house this way. You don’t seem the type.”
My dear friend, my oldest friend, Jerry burst out laughing. “Man, you have no idea. I could tell you stories.”
“No, you may not.” I said as sternly as possible. “Aaron, let’s go find my clothes, And my purse. I want to go home.” I grabbed his hand and began to tug him behind me toward the house, but he looked back at Jerry the pretend cop.
“What do you think? Does she like me?”
“Like you?” The jerk actually winked at me. “I think she might. Just don’t move too fast, you know she’s been traumatized tonight.”
I glared at him. “Thanks, Jerry. I think you’ve done enough tonight. You’d better go put that nightstick back in your night table.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and just said, “Night guys. See you soon, Jo,” and wandered back to collect his swaggering friends.
“Now they will all want to be cops. Those boys will never grow up.” I shook my head sadly.
“But do you?” Aaron asked, holding me with the force of his gaze?
“Like you? Yes, I suppose I might.”
“And should I move very slowly? Are you traumatized?”
I lifted again on tiptoe to reach his lips. “Maybe a little, but I think what I need is an antidote.”
He reached down and lifted me up in his arms. “The guest house is still dark and locked up, it’s probably safe.”
And he carried me off in his arms, to a little house at the back of the garden, surrounded by roses, where we did our best to wipe out the memories of earlier in the evening. And that is the true story of how I met the man I will marry tomorrow, why I have six strippers at my party, and why his brother had to beg for an invitation to the ceremony. I did vote for him to come, after all, if he hadn’t held his party, we wouldn’t be holding this one.

Zelda's Valentine

2010-02-03T20:43:00.000-08:00

Zelda Zombie woke up wild with excitement. It was her first Valentine’s Day as a zombie. She had not been very successful as a living person in the romance department and had therefore surmised that she had some great times coming in the hereafter, which was now the here and now.

The big dance was the talk of the town, and Zelda was prepared with a lovely floor length gown in a shade of lavender satin that really set off her pallid complexion. The gown’s long sleeves were practically a guarantee that no arms, at least, would go flying off at an inopportune moment while dancing or necking. Panty hose should keep things together in other areas.

But first, it was time to go out to the mailbox and see how many admirers had left cards and gifts for her enjoyment. Zelda had discovered a liking for chocolate covered gopher brains and had seen a big display of them in the Grave’s Department Store window. She skipped down the path, only dragging one leg slightly in her hurry to retrieve her mail.

Zelda saw her neighbors Lavinia and Elbert headed for their mailboxes as well. Lavinia squealed and gathered her treasures in her arms, chortling as she headed back to her one story trench house. Elbert, on the other hand, flung his hands in the air in his excitement, a mistake, as he then had to use the one still attached to retrieve the other and run back in the house for repairs before he could grab his goodies. Flamboyant sort, Elbert.

The mailbox at the end of Zelda’s driveway loomed, pregnant with possibilities as she approached. Could flowers fit inside? Maybe a tasteful coffin spray? Her hand trembled as she pulled open the little door to see...nothing. She leaned closer, nothing, really? Disappointment threatened to make her fall apart.

Wait; there was something inside, way at the back. A little blue card that said, ‘Roses and red, Violets are blue, I have a big treat, tonight, for you. See you at the dance.’ and it was signed, ‘your secret admirer.’

Once again, she was alight with anticipation. She had to go to her hair appointment, and get it all stuck back in, then maybe she would go pick out a new evening bag in case anything fell off and had to be held onto until she could get to the ladies room and put her face back on. Then a long, relaxing bath and it would be time for the dance.

The afternoon flew, as did Zelda, running errands and getting ready and then it was time to go. She tripped down to the Zombietown Community Center where the disco ball cast its spinning shards of light on the faces of revelers young and old. When Zelda entered, she felt like the queen of the ball, in her beautiful dress, with her hair firmly attached for the evening in a cascade of coffin curls. She swept through the door and into the middle of the dance floor, turning slowly in a circle, waiting for her secret admirer and his promised treat. She saw the mayor and Chompers over by the brain buffet and tasteful blood fountain. The note was in her bag for luck, worn at the creases already from the many times she had folded and unfolded it to bask in the warmth of her admirer’s sweet words and poetry.

At first, nobody approached her and she began to worry. What if he couldn’t come, what if his leg got caught on the bus, or he bumped his head getting out of a cab and had to go have it sewn back on? What if he had changed his mind? She was almost worked up enough to start shedding nails when a small child came up and handed her yet another note.

She opened it, and it said ‘Violets are blue, Roses are red, Don’t you be thinking that I’ve lost my head, look behind you.’

He was a mind reader. She turned and, right behind her, was the handsome news anchor Grief Abandon. She had heard that he and Zanku Kitty had broken up sometime after their parade-announcing gig, but she had no idea he even knew who she was. There he was, in his baby blue tux, holding out his arms to her, almost all his fingers intact. She stepped into his arms and he swung her out onto the dance floor, almost but not quite leaving the bottom half of her behind. She thanked providence for the suspenders holding her bra to her pantyhose that helped her keep it together.

The tall zombie swept her around the floor in a mad whirl that made her head spin, a couple of times. He bent to place his lips to her ear and she heard ‘oops,” before he patted the ear back in place. It was so romantic.

The evening passed in a dizzying swirl of dancing and flirting. She really was the belle of the ball and all the fellows cut in to have a dance with her. Then, when the band was playing “Good Night, Irene,” they change the song to “Good Night, Zelda.” And Grief asked if she would see him again, and then kissed her on the lips, and nothing got mushed or squished.

When she had gotten home and changed into her comfy graveclothes, Zelda Zombie knelt by the side of her bed to say her prayers. And while images of her evening as Cinderella danced through her mind, she prayed that her prince, Grief, would have pleasant dreams until the next time he held her in his arms, or whatever he had handy.

Winter on 395

2010-01-03T20:14:00.000-08:00

The Dragon's Lair is just around the bend

A New Year's Tale, Featuring Dana Burke, Dragonslayer

2009-12-30T14:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Dana Burke
Love, the Dragons

Dana sat quietly in her office. It was the week between Christmas and New Years and her phone wasn’t ringing at all. That was why she was so reluctant to go home. It was so quiet here, and her chair was sooo comfy. As Dana’s eyes began to close, she slid further down into the plush upholstery in the teddy bear brown reclining lounger she had bought against all of her stylish business partner’s protests last winter. When things got too crazy at home, she needed something to curl up and sleep in at the office. Like now.
Just as she slid into a sensuous dream, and into the arms of her dream date Martin Bowers, chief of detectives, her cell phone buzzed insistently from her jacket pocket. Dana pressed her eyes tightly closed and pulled her hand-knitted cashmere afghan over her shoulder with one hand. The phone buzzed for a minute and stopped. Only to be followed by the loud ringing of her desk phone. Dana reached across the space between her chair and desk, not a lot of space in her little office, and lifted the receiver. She cleared her throat discreetly and answered, “Burke and Williams, this is Dana.”
“Dana, it’s Mom. Are you coming home soon?”
“Oh, it’s really awfully busy here, Mom.” Dana darted her eyes guiltily around the office. “A total zoo!”
“It’s just that I need a few things from the store, if you don’t mind. We’ve decided to have a New Year’s Eve party here tonight, and, well, you don’t seem to have any food here to speak of. Or scotch.”
“A party?” Dana stifled a groan. “Isn’t it awfully last minute?”
“Well, dear, since we’re all here until the day after tomorrow, it seemed like the perfect time. And,” Dana’s mother sounded way too cheerful, “We invited some of your friends!”
Dana held the phone away from her ear and stared at it. “Mom, you don’t know any of my friends. How did you happen to ummm invite them?”
“Oh, I knew you’d be thrilled! I looked at your phone list, the one on your computer.”
“On my computer?”
“Yes, Dana, on your computer.” Her mother sounded a little impatient now, as though she thought Dana was being a trifle dense. “Now, dear, we don’t have much time, so take down what I need you to pick up.”
As Dana took down the list for her mother’s party, she fought not to panic. There were a couple of address lists on the computer. One was indeed her friends, and the other was, for lack of a better word, a hit list. Dana Burke, private eye, was also Dana Burke, Dragon Slayer. She struggled to write down the list of fancy cheeses and try to think of a way to find out which list her mother had used. With her entire family descended en masse, without any warning, Dana had a lot to worry about.
“Mom, do you remember any of the names of the friends you invited?” Dana tried to keep her voice even and not squeak, as she had a tendency to do in the most stressful of situations.
“Oh, no, dear. You know I don’t know anything about computers. Your sister found it and invited them.”
“Can I talk to Dierdre then?”
“She’s not here. One of your friends insisted upon picking her up right away and taking her shopping to find a dress for the party. You know Dierdre never travels with anything fancy, just jeans. That girl has no sense of style.”
“Right, Mom. Can you tell me one thing? Did you notice what car they took? I’m wondering who it was...after all, it might not be one of my more stylish friends and Dierdre might not get a nice dress for tonight.”
“It was some kind of black car, and I think it was your friend Stacey or Susie, something with an ess I think.”
Dana was even more at a loss than before. She didn’t have any friends by those names, and dragons rarely went by names like Stacey or Susie. “Mom, I’ll be right there, don’t go anywhere.” She flung the phone into the cradle and grabbed her purse and jacket, flying to her car. At least at home, she could try to figure out what was going on. As she slammed the Land Cruiser door shut, her cell buzzed.
“You won’t forget the cream cheese, will you Dana? I can’t make the pinwheel appetizers without them. And the little colored toothpicks. I don’t know if I mentioned them. Maybe I should go over the whole list again.”
“No time, Mom.” Dana knew she had to stop at the store, even if it could be that her house, her safe haven, was about to be descended on by murderous dragons. It wasn’t a situation she could explain to her family, who had no idea what she did as a side job. Braking with a squeal, she leaped out of the car and grabbed an empty shopping basket. She had to do this, but it would have to be fast. Unfortunately, most of the ingredients her mother wanted were not what Dana could find easily in her corner market, and it took nearly an hour. She was sweating under the jacket by the time she tossed the last bag in her trunk and started for home again.
Her mother came out to meet her at the curb, followed by the one person Dana wanted to see less than the aforementioned murderous dragons.
“Look who stopped by, dear. You remember Sammy. Mrs. Albertson’s nephew on her husband’s side? He called to wish you a happy new year and I told him to come right over. He’s been the biggest help!”
Sammy smiled gleamingly over her mother’s shoulder. It couldn’t have been Martin who just happened to call, oh, no. It had to be Sammy, who was not only one step short of a stalker where she was concerned, but also a dragon. He lived just a step on the right side of the law, so Dana couldn’t slay him, but it didn’t mean she didn’t dream of doing just that.
“Hi, Dana, I’ve been spending the day with your mom. Carol and I have been having a great time, sharing Dana stories, haven’t we, Mom?”
“Do not call my mother Mom, Sammy. And I’m sure you have somewhere else to be? Don’t let us stop you from going to all the parties I’m sure a wild bachelor like you has lined up for tonight?”
“Dana, don’t be rude! Sammy is coming to our party tonight. He’s been helping me get ready all afternoon.”
Dana muttered something about a restraining order under her breath and went around to open her trunk. When Sammy offered to help, she stalked into the house and left him to unload her mother’s party food. This day was going downhill fast. She walked into her office and looked to see if her computer was still booted up. Maybe she could find out which guest list to expect, friend or foe. No luck, though, Dierdre had shut it down after her interfering behavior. There was only one thing to do, arm herself to the teeth, and wait. She went upstairs to take a shower, put on a party dress, and stash all the weapons she could manage about her person.
The afternoon passed slowly while Dana waited to see if they would all be massacred. She tried to stay in her room, but her mother called her to help arrange the bar on a low table in the living room. One thing led to the next and the house looked gaily festive, unlike its usual dusty blandness.
Finally, it was dark and time for guests to arrive. Dana stationed herself at the front door to greet the guests, shoot the villains, whichever came first. Amazingly, the first guest was a former client, as was the second. There had been a third mailing list she hadn’t thought of, her business Christmas card list. They were all thrilled to be invited to her actual home and sat around sharing the details of their cases with one another, each trying to have been her biggest case ever. The evening was actually going great, even her cousins and sister were not completely embarrassing themselves and Dana for once.
Dana stood in a corner of the living room, watching everyone have a good time, eating, drinking and bragging. He mother was very proud, once she was convinced that Dana wasn’t angry about the list being business and not social. If only she knew what might have happened!
The high point of the evening occurred when Sammy followed Dana as she made her way out to the garage freezer for more ice. He made a pass and she got to jab him in a most uncomfortable area with her knee. And to top things off, Sammy’s bad behavior was noticed by Detective Bowers, who had also been on the business contact list, and who had stopped by to make a polite appearance. He grabbed Sammy by the collar and took him outside to discuss polite behavior around ladies.
Dana sighed as she watched Martin force-march Sammy behind the garage. She was a dragon-slayer, but just this once it was nice to be a lady in distress. And detective Martin Bowers might not be her boyfriend, he was, just for tonight, her knight in shining armor. Dana walked back into her very successful party, a little skip in her step. And just think....she could write off the whole thing as a business expense too!

A Yuletide Celebration

2009-12-07T18:32:00.001-08:00

Merry always found it odd that she had a name so associated with Christmas. Her parents were pagans, or Wiccans, maybe, depended on the day you asked them. Yet, when she was born, they had chosen the name Merry for their only daughter. She ran a finger through the dust on the coffee table in her mother’s living room. Now that they were over fifty, Bob and Cynthia didn’t even attempt to keep up the funky hippy traditions that had been a part of Merry’s youth. The utter lack of any kind of spirit was depressing.
The windows were frosty around their edges, but inside it was warm enough. Not cozy though. There was nothing cozy about this house. December 23rd and nothing to mark the season as special. Merry hadn’t jumped over to the religious side of Christmas, but she always enjoyed the celebrations that marked the season. She had even gone to a Chanukah celebration at a coworker’s home. Midwinter’s day needed to be celebrated somehow. It was a sign of hope for the coming year, she thought, sinking into a worn chair in the corner of her parent’s cluttered living room.
It was the same apartment she’d grown up in, filled with people working for the latest cause, saving whales or fighting apartheid, walking every 5k or 10k they could find. There wasn’t a person in need who couldn’t find a safe haven in their spare room, and there were usually at least one or two orphaned baby squirrels or kittens in a box near the radiator. Bob and Cynthia Merriweather were the kind of activists who gave activism a good name. They were genuinely kind and gave until they had nothing left for themselves.
And they loved each other. Merry’s parents were the most in-love parents a child could want. They held hands in every one of those walks to save something, sometimes swinging their little girl between them while she giggled and danced on tiptoe. Bob was always coming up behind Cynthia to kiss her cheek, and Cynthia never forgot that Bob liked his lentils with sage and not thyme for seasoning. Merry learned very young not to go into their bedroom without knocking, after one frightening incident that gave her nightmares for quite some time. Her parents had thought it best to explain what she’d seen, and their openness had not been appreciated by their daughter. Memory after memory ran through Merry’s mind. Her friends wondered why she went home to a house without Christmas. They had no idea.
The little house was so dim, Merry thought,. reaching over to click on the lamp next to her. It didn’t help much. The real light in this house had been her parents’ love, and it was flickering, and almost completely gone. Sitting deep in that broken-springed chair, Merry wiped a tear from her cheek. The sounds from the bedroom were more frightening than her childhood experience. She could hear drawers opening and closing, and the click of a suitcase.
“I’m leaving now, Merry,” her father said, coming into the living room. “I’ll call you from the motel.”
When Merry didn’t answer, Bob leaned over to look at her face. “Are you crying? Why are you crying? Cynthia, Merry is crying her eyes out in here.”
Cynthia Merriweather rushed into the room, her arms full of towels. “What is it, Bob? I wanted to tell you to take these towels, motels always have rough ones that give you that rash. Why, Merry, what is going on? Did you hurt yourself?”
Merry looked up at her parents. By now, the tears were streaming so heavily, she could barely see. “You’re asking me what’s wrong? How can you even ask?”
“Well, Merry,” her mother responded, “Because you haven’t told us what is wrong. We’d be happy to help if we only knew what was wrong.”
“Merry, cupcake, tell your dad what he can do to help.”
Merry peered at them through dark lashes matted with tears. They really had no idea what might be wrong with her. They didn’t know. A germ of an idea began to form in Merry’s mind. These people would do anything to help someone in need. She pushed her auburn bangs out of her eyes with one shaking hand. Maybe, if she could just delay her father’s departure, they would remember how much they loved each other. It was worth a shot, even if it was a little sneaky. Well, a lot sneaky, but who cared?
“Don’t leave, Dad. I need you both so much right now.”
“Merry, I’m just going to the motel across town. You can see me there anytime you like. Your mother and I need our space right now. We need to get our acts together and see if we’re karmically intended to stay together.”
Need their space my ass, thought Merry. But what she said was, “Please! Please stay just until the New Year. I’ll be okay by then, I’m sure.”
“Merry, what on earth are you talking about? Why shouldn’t your father go and have his space? We’re both here for you.”
“No, if Dad leaves, you won’t both be here. You’ll be somewhere else and I need this group together if I’m going to get over...over my broken heart!”
“Broken heart?” her mother asked suspiciously. “Have you been seeing someone?”
“Baby, someone broke your heart? Who is he? I’m sure if we just talk to him, we can make it all better. How could anyone not love you?” her father said.
“I can’t tell you any more,” she said, sobbing for real now. This was the biggest lie she’d ever told, and she was panicked that they would see through it. Hippie parents were big on honesty, and she had told very few lies over the years, so she wasn’t too good at it. Merry had to be back at work the Monday after New Years Day. She had just over ten days to fix her parents’ marriage, and that wasn’t very long at all.
The biggest lie was that someone had broken her heart. Merry hadn’t been seeing anyone for quite some time. She hadn’t even had a date in over six months. If she couldn’t have a relationship like her parents’, she didn’t want one at all. Like her parents had been, rather. And could be again! she told herself. Nobody could be as in-love as her parents and have it end like this.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to wait until Merry goes home,” her mother said. “I suppose.”
“As long as you think we can help, we’re here for you baby,” said her dad, looking happier than he had since she’d gotten home. “Let me put my things away, then maybe we’ll make some nice soup. Would that make you feel better?”
Merry scrubbed at her cheeks. “I really think it would help. I am a little hungry.”
“Good idea,” said Cynthia. “And while we make the soup - bean I think – we can talk about having your ex over here to achieve closure.”
“C-closure?” Merry was shocked. This was not how it was supposed to go!
“Of course, dear,” her mother patted her shoulder kindly. “I’ve never seen you this upset. We have to have him come over here so we can all sit down together and get our heads together on this.”
“You know our motto, Merry, it never pays to stuff our feelings. You need to tell him, what’s his name anyway? how you truly feel so you can let go.” Her father was starting to look positively cheerful now.
“I – ummm – I don’t think he, I mean Sam, can make it.”
“Well that’s no problem at all, Merry.” Cynthia nodded in satisfaction.
Merry drew in a breath of short-lived relief.
“That’s right, we’ll just climb in the V.W. bus and head on down to San Diego.” Merry’s father beamed at her We can be there in just four or five hours. Call Sam and see if he’d like to meet us for dinner.”
Merry’s heart raced, and she jumped up from her chair. Her mouth dried out and her tongue stuck to the top of her mouth. She pulled it free with a sucking sound and said, “Oh, that won’t be necessary. I’ll call him after dinner and see what he’s going to be up to this week. Maybe he can stop by or something.”
“Winter Solstice is this Monday. We’ll have a feast!” Cynthia was cheering up too. “ All the foods that have significance to the season. We will celebrate just as we used to! Let’s put out the word.”
“I’ll tell everyone down at the co-op this afternoon,” her dad had never looked happier than he did now. Maybe he wasn’t in such a hurry to leave her mother after all.
With both her parents now in the kitchen, banging cupboards and making a shopping list, Merry sank back into the broken down chair. She rested her hands in her lap and tried to breathe slowly and deeply and fight back the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. She only had this one chance to help save her parents’ marriage, and if she didn’t produce an ex-boyfriend, it wasn’t going to work. The last serious boyfriend she’d had was at least three years ago, and it had ended badly.
Badly enough that she didn’t want to call on Evan to come over even for one day. It would be absolutely impossible to face him after what had happened. No, Evan was not a possibility. But if not Evan, who? She didn’t have any single male friends who could get away from work this week to pose, as her ex. Evan was a professor; he was off work this week. And Gwen, her best friend, and wife of Evan’s best friend Clyde, had made a point of telling her just recently, about how Evan had shown up at her Christmas party stag, yet again. He was off work, and he was single. It was Evan or nothing.
Only for her parents would Merry do something as unbelievably difficult as this. But she had to come up with an ex, or the proverbial jig was up. Merry’s parents were staying together through the holiday season to help her get over her devastating break-up and Merry had to produce her boyfriend and have closure. What would Evan say when she called?
Merry reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. It wasn’t the same phone she’d had three years ago, but she realized, to her dismay, that she still remembered Evan’s phone number. Ugh. As she punched in the numbers, she thought to herself that Evan probably wouldn’t come anyway. He was ninety miles away and that was very far to drive as a favor to someone who had dumped you by voice mail, with no explanation, three years ago.
The phone rang, once, twice, three times. She waited for his voice mail to kick on. Then he answered. “Hello, just a second, and Merry heard fumbling as though he’d dropped the phone.
She was tempted to drop the phone herself and pretend it had never happened. Unfortunately, her number would now be in his phone, and he would probably do what most people do and call back to see whom it was. “Hi, Evan.”
“Who’s calling?” He still had the sexiest voice she’d ever heard. After such a long time, it still gave her little chills.
“It’s Merry, Evan. How are you?”
“Merry...”
“Yes, it’s Merry. I’ve called to ask a favor. You don’t have to do it,” she said in a rush. “But I’m desperate, or I’d never ask. You’re probably still mad at me and I can’t blame you.”
The silence that followed her words was so long, Merry was afraid she’d lost the connection. Finally, just as she was about to hang up, Merry heard laughter. Laughter!
“Hi Merry! How’s tricks? Me? Oh, I’m fine, nothing new.”
Merry held the phone a little away from her ear, not sure what to do. “I’m glad you’re fine, Evan, I’ve wondered how you were.”
The laughter cut off abruptly. “You should have called, then, Merry.” His voice was soft, and a little strained. “I never knew why you dumped me. All you said was that it was over, and not to call. What did I do?”
“I can’t really explain it now, on the phone. But I know I owe you an explanation. If you’ll do me this favor, I will try to explain in person.”
“Merry, I don’t know what to say. You call me after three years, and want a favor? Okay, I’ll bite. What did you want me to do?” His voice was a little less soft, but if anything more strained.
“Would you come down here to my parent’s home and help me keep them from getting a divorce?”
“I have no idea how I can help you keep your parents together, but I was planning to go skiing up at Krall Summit for Christmas Break. I can stop by on the way. I want that explanation. Your parents still in the same house?”
Merry couldn’t believe he was being so nice after the way she’d treated him. “Why don’t I meet you at the diner before you come to the house and tell you what’s going on here.”
“I will leave first thing in the morning, so I should be down there by around ten.”
“See you then, Evan, and thank you. You are a far better friend than I deserve.”
“Good-bye Merry.” And he was gone.
Merry sat in that old chair, holding her cell phone in her lap. Evan was coming tomorrow. She hadn’t seen him in three years, yet he was coming just because she asked. What did that mean?
***
Merry came down for breakfast the next morning expecting to see her parents sitting with their granola and herbal tea. Instead, she found a note on the refrigerator telling her they were out buying more supplies for their Yule party that night. Merry shook her head and poured herself a glass of orange juice. It was nine-thirty and Merry had slept late after tossing and turning most of the night. She was wearing her favorite blue cashmere sweater and jeans, and had actually put on a little mascara and lip-gloss. She only hoped Evan would actually show, since he had every reason not to. Sighing, Merry grabbed her car keys off the counter, grabbed her purse, and went out to get in her car and face the music. Only to go back in for her parka. Take two.
***
Evan drove up to the diner and parked right in front. He didn’t see Merry’s little sedan, but she might have changed vehicles by now. Three years was a long time. He was stunned when he heard her voice the day before, but he couldn’t resist the opportunity to see her one more time. To see if he still wanted her as much as he had when they were dating. Evan had thought that Merry was the One, and had thought they’d be married in a year or so. He had even bought a ring. Then, bam, she left that message on his voice mail, and it was over. And even though he’d respected her request to stay away, and had never even called, he had always wondered why she had ended their relationship. This was his one chance to find out why. Then he could go on with his life and stop waiting for her. And that’s what he had been doing, he could admit that to himself now. Waiting for Merry to come back. Evan smiled ruefully as he headed into the diner and took a seat at a table by the window.
When Merry arrived, she recognized Evan’s car. He still had that old MG convertible. As impractical as it was to drive in the winter, he would drive nothing else. Loyal as an old dog, she thought. Her vision felt blurry as she caught sight of his profile in the diner window. His blonde hair was a little shaggy around the edges, he had always needed to be reminded to have it cut. With a deep breath, she pushed open the door to the diner, pasted a cheerful smile on her lips, and approached her past.
“Hello, Evan.” She noticed that his deep blue eyes looked a little tired, the laugh lines by his mouth a bit deeper than when she’d last seen him. “It’s good to see you. Thank you so much for coming.”
“Merry.” Evan stood and leaned over the table to kiss her cheek. “I could never say no to you.” He looked directly into Merry’s eyes, holding eye contact as he resumed his seat.
She smiled a little. He never had said no to her. “I asked you here because I need your help. My parents’ marriage is in trouble, and my dad is planning to leave my mother.”
“How can I help with that?” Evan looked as puzzled as he felt. How could his coming here save the marriage of two people he’d never met? The closest he’d come was picking Merry up at their house once, and they weren’t even home at the time.
“I told them that I needed them to help me get over a bad break-up, and you know Mom and Dad. When I said I needed their help, Dad said he’d stay in the house through the holiday season, until I went back to the city. They insisted on having a big party to help us reach closure.”
Evan’s azure gaze narrowed. “What are you leaving out here, Merry?”
“Leaving out? It’s a party, for her parents, and I implied the break-up was recent. You know my parents, they believe it’s healing to gather the community around when traumatic things happen. Once I asked for their help, I had to accept their recipe for feeling better, and it was this party. And they were worried about me and the guy who dumped me, so...” Crap! The look of mute outrage on Evan's face told her she’d said the wrong thing.
“Merry, you told them I dumped you?”

”Well, not you, not exactly. I told them a guy broke up with me.
“What guy did break up with you?
“There’s no guy, Evan. I just made up the story so they would stay together long enough to realize they need each other. They love each other, they do!” Her voice broke on a sob and her hands flew to her mouth.
“Merry, you can’t make your parents stay together. They’re grownups, they get to choose what they want to do.”
“I can help them see what they really want to do! I know I can, and with you here to help me I have no doubt we’ll succeed. My parents are the happiest couple I know, and if they can’t make it who can?”
Evan looked quietly at his former love. Things were starting to click in his mind. “Merry,” he said, his voice very carefully even. “Why did you break up with me?”
“Can’t we talk about this later, Evan? After the party, maybe?”
“No, Merry. We have to talk about this now. Why did you leave me that message? That was pretty cold, Merry. I thought we had something special together.”
Merry realized there was no way forward but right through the truth. “We did, Evan. I’ve never had anything so special with anyone else.”
“Then why? Why did you end it so abruptly. I thought you must have met someone else.”
“No, Evan, I didn’t meet anyone else. In fact,” she swallowed past a large lump that was suddenly in her throat, “I haven’t met anyone else.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either, Evan. All I know is that I had to end our relationship. I felt panicked. I didn’t know what else to do. If I couldn’t have a relationship like my parents I didn’t want one at all.”
“Merry, you wanted a relationship like your parents, so you ended ours? And now you’ve called me in to help you put theirs back together. None of this makes sense.”
Merry stared at Evan, feeling the panic rising again, just looking at him. “I know it doesn’t seem to make sense, when I say it out loud. But at the time, they looked so perfect together. They loved and hated all the same things, went everywhere together. I had the only parents I knew who hugged and kissed all the time. How could we hope to have a relationship that good?”
“Our relationship was our own, Merry. Just like their relationship is theirs. If your parents want to separate, divorce, or stay together forever, it’s up to them. You can’t manipulate them into staying married if they don’t want to.”
Merry wiped the tears that were now streaming down her face with the back of her wrist. “I can’t bear it if they break up. I can’t stand my family being torn apart.”
Evan took the hand away from her face and kissed her fingertips. “Merry, you’re a grown woman, who should be making her own family now. With someone that you choose for yourself.”
Merry was speechless. Evan was right, but she had given up on having a relationship after she’d made the fateful phone call. She hadn’t so much as gone out on a date since then. How could she possibly meet someone she cared about that much again.
As the waitress approached with menus, Evan stood and stepped away from the table. “As much as I’d love to stay and have coffee, I’d better head for the slopes. Now that we’ve resolved what was, we can both move forward toward what will be. Just make sure your mom and dad know you love them, Merry, and whatever happens will work out fine.”
“Thanks, Evan. You were the best thing that every happened to me. I’m sorry I blew it.”
Evan bent to kiss her on the forehead. “Take care, Merry.” And he walked out to his car.
***
Merry went home planning to explain the whole story to her parents and tell them they had her full support, whatever their plans were. But to her amazement, she walked into a hippie winter wonderland, full of giggling middle-aged people and wonderful cooking smells. Women in colorful patchwork skirts swirled through the kitchen, and there were at least six men, most of them with ponytails and beards, putting together a long table of planks and sawhorses in the living room.
“Merry, dear, is that you? Hurry in here and get the sesame cookies out of the oven before they burn!” Her mother sounded so happy and excited. “Just put them on the rack in the dining room.”
Merry hurried into the kitchen to help her mother. Within moments she was so caught up in the whirlwind of preparations that she just, somehow, never got to tell either of her parents about her ruse. When Bob and Cynthia threw a party, it started as soon as the preparations did. Finally the food was ready to serve. Everyone had made their favorites and the array was astonishing. Esther had made crispy potato latkes, Saravani her spicy lamb curry. Jeanette had prepared a delicate puff pastry snowflake filled with chocolate mousse and Elaine had baked the nine-grain bread that everyone remembered from their commune days. So many delicious dishes from all the holiday celebrations of the world.
Merry gazed around at the happy faces. Most of them were heavier, and there was a lot of gray in those ponytails. But the spirit that she remembered from her childhood was there, if anything stronger. The air veritably sparkled with it. She felt as though she could stand there in the candlelight and just look at them forever, her heart swelling with love.
“Merry, we don’t want to start without your young man. When did he say he would be here? Her mother smiled at Merry from across the table, her husband’s arm across her shoulders.
“Mom, I don’t think he’s going to make it.” There was no point in going into the whole mess with Evan now. She could tell them tomorrow.
“Anyone expecting Santa Claus?” Alfonse, her father’s oldest friend, stood in the open doorway.
“Santa Claus? No, but he’s sure welcome! It’s Christmas Eve isn’t it?” Merry’s father said. “Bring him in!”
Behind Alfonse, in his old patched jeans and t-shirt, stood Santa Claus. Or, rather, Evan in a Santa suit, with a huge bag of gifts over his shoulder. “Ho ho ho! Merry....Christmas!”
Merry could only stare. “Evan, what are you doing?”
“I came to start our own tradition, Merry. I called this afternoon, and your mother told me about all their wonderful friends. So I drove my reindeer this way to bring gifts to all of the goodhearted people who give to others all year long.” And, while Merry stood open-mouthed, Evan began to hand out his gifts. To Esther, who worked three days a week in a thrift shop for abused women, a lovely silk shawl. To Alfonse, who ran a soup kitchen, a set of Wustoff knives. To each of her parents’ friends, who were the most community-minded, giving people in the world, Santa-Evan gave a perfect gift. Merry’s mother got a new pair of Nikes for her next 5k walk, and her dad a huge tin of Greek olives, which he loved but would never buy for himself.
Finally, the sack was almost empty. Only one small box remained. Merry was still standing at the side of the room, overwhelmed. She didn’t know what to do, or what to say.
“Merry, I think Santa has something for you.” Bob gave Merry a little push toward Evan. “I don’t think he’ll bite.”
Merry walked slowly over to Evan, tiny steps, her eyes never leaving his deep blue gaze. She reached for the small brightly wrapped box he held out toward her and carefully removed the beautiful bow. Carefully unwrapping the box, she found a lump of coal.
Evan looked at what was in her hand, and the shocked expression in Merry’s eyes. He began to laugh. “Oh, that was the gift you were going to get when you were on the Naughty List. I’ve been told you have moved to the Nice List.” He rummaged at the bottom of the big sack, pulled out an even smaller box, and placed it in Merry’s outstretched hand.
Merry never doubted what was in that box. A big tear rolled down her cheek. “Are you sure, Evan?”
“I was sure when I bought it, Merry. I have kept it for three years.”
It seemed as though the brightly lit room and all the people faded, leaving them alone. Merry looked up at Evan and smiled. “ Thank you for waiting for me to come to my senses.”
“I’m only glad you did.” Evan pulled the Santa beard down below his chin and bent to press his lips to hers. He pulled her close and deepened the kiss, until they both remembered how good it had been to hold each other.
When they came up for air, Merry turned in Evan’s arms and looked at her parents. They held hands like teenagers, snitching bits of delicacies from the platters and surreptitiously feeding them to each other. They would be fine.
Evan looked at her questioningly and Merry voiced what she had been thinking. “They always loved each other, but they had lost the spirit that held them together. Look at these people, all of them. The sixties were a magical time, but only because of the magical people who grew up in them. Mom and Dad didn’t need space, they needed Spirit.”

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T20:02:00.001-08:00

Two days of cooking, ten minutes of eating, cleaning up after, and now we can sit and watch Charlie Brown. Must be almost, almost the Yule season.

Nicole and Fluffy at Thanksgiving, a children's story

2009-11-23T12:46:00.000-08:00

Once upon a long winding street, in a white house with a big grassy yard, there lived a dog named Fluffy. He was a brown dog with a long nose that was pointed so that he looked just like a fox. And he was very, very little. fluffy liked to sit in his yard and watch the people and animals go by, and he loved to bark at them.

Fluffy had lots of friends. Even though there were a lot of other dogs in the neighborhood, everyone just seemed to like Fluffy the best. Ladies with tiny babies in strollers would stop and pet him through the fence and the babies would reach their fingers through and laugh when he licked them. Fluffy probably had more friends than anyone else on his street.

Fluffy even had friends in other states. His best friend was named Nicole, and she was then four years old. Nicole was a very smart girl who could draw pictures and was even going to school. And, of course, Fluffy was her best friend too.

Fluffy and Nicole hadn’t seen each other for a while, but they always talked on the phone, and sometimes they sent each other cards and letters in the mail. And they hoped that soon they would be able to see each other in person.

One day Nicole’s mother said that they would be going to California to see some other their family for Thanksgiving. So Nicole and her mommy and daddy got in the car and drove for a very long time across the desert. They passed the cacti and jack rabbits and the Colorado River, and Nicole waved at all of them and smiled. For the whole trip the laughed and smiled, because she was going to see her very best friend in all the world, Fluffy the dog.

After a whole day of driving, when it was starting to get dark, Nicole’s mother said that they were almost there. Nicole saw that they weren’t in the desert anymore, and her mother said that they were in San Bernardino, and that was very close to Los Angeles. By now Nicole was starting to get a little sleepy, so she didn’t notice when the passed Pomona and West Covina and all of the other towns along the way. In fact, the next thing she knew, they were climbing the hill that led to the winding street where Fluffy lived with Nicole’s aunt.

As soon as the car stopped, Nicole jumped out onto the sidewalk and listened. She could hear Fluffy barking, just like on the phone. She ran to his gate and opened it up and they played and played. They played until nighttime, when Nicole’s mother made her go to sleep. And they played all the next day, and the next, until it was time for Nicole to go back to Arizona.

Then they were a little sad, but Nicole knew that they would see each other again soon, and she told Fluffy that it would be all right. Then everybody kissed goodbye and Nicole and her family got back in their car and drove all that long way back through West Covina and Pomona, and across the long desert. Past the cacti and jack rabbits and the Colorado river, until they got to Nicole’s house. But Nicole did not see any of the scenery this time. She was sound asleep with a big smile on her face, dreaming about the next time she would see her friend.

Thanksgiving After the Fall

2009-11-22T22:10:00.000-08:00

Turkey was not going to happen. If any survived the Event, they hadn’t been found yet. But there were chickens around, and Shay planned to catch one, and she had a lot of dried Indian corn to grind and make cornbread. From that she could make a tasty stuffing. She had one can of cranberry that she thought looked okay. Not swollen or anything, just a little dented. Shay was pretty sure she could pull together an approximation of the feast that Brady would remember from past years.

He was coming home after almost ten years. She had gotten a letter! It was the first letter she had gotten since the reorganized Pony Express Service had begun its deliveries. Until that time, Shay had not had any idea whether Brady was alive, dead, or Other.

According to his letter, Brady had been in D.C. when the Event happened, and had not been able to get outside the fence until now. They weren’t letting anyone out unless they were absolutely certain that they weren’t Other, and if they let Brady out, he was alive and well.

Shay rummaged around in the cabinet over the sink, looking for a square cake pan. One of the funny things about the A.E., After Event, was the shortage of grains. Most of the standardized grain varieties just wouldn’t grow anymore, so it had been necessary to raid the heritage varieties stored in seed banks and try to get enough of them growing. The first few years had been almost entirely grown for seed, and it had only been in the last few years that any had been available for distribution, and only this year that any had gotten this far west. She patted the sack of dried corn fondly. It had been difficult to get the seed, but the results were worth it.

A sound came from the lane out in front of the house. Shay froze. Was it Brady? She listened carefully, the sound of hooves pounded toward her from the east, but never slowed. It wasn’t Brady after all. She tried not to let disappointment take over, there was no predicting how long it would take to come this far. The roads were uncertain and plagued with thieves. Then the hooves sounded closer again returning. Maybe it was him after all. Her heart leapt in her breast as she froze in her tracks. Footsteps sounded on the wooden steps and there was a tentative knock on the door.

“Shay?” the query came muffled from the other side of the door. “Shay, are you here? They told me you were here.”

Shay gulped a breath of air, apparently she had been holding it while he walked up to the door. Her knees unlocked and she ran the few steps to pull open the door. It was Brady, a little older and worse for wear, but Brady!

“Oh my God, Brady, it really is you!” He looked to thin! But then, so did everyone these days.

Now it was Brady’s turn to freeze. He stared at her as if he’d never seen her before, and didn’t move forward through the doorway until Shay laughed and grabbed his hand to pull him in. Then he acted, and pulled her right into his arms.

“Brady! I didn’t know if you were alive or dead until I got your letter. I was so afraid!”

“I had no way.”

“Of course you didn’t. How could you have contacted me, cell phone?” She laughed again, almost hysterically this time. “But I waited. It was so hard.”

“Shay, you never ....”

“No, I never. And they tried to make me. I’m a young woman, most likely fertile. They tried very hard.”

“Shay, I was in D.C. through all of it. I probably am not a fertile male. The pressure is only going to get worse.”

“I know, my darling. but they will give us time to try. If I don’t get pregnant in six months or so, we may have to do something to appease them, but for now, it’s just us.”

Brady bent to press his lips to Shay’s forehead, then her cheeks, first left, then right. He pressed a firm but chase kiss to her lips. “ I have been riding for weeks, and I need to clean up. I don’t want to come to you reeking of the road.”

“Oh, Brady, I’d take you reeking of the sewers if need be! I never thought I’d see you again.”

What little sense of propriety Brady had melted away with her words. “I don’t think I’ve been in any sewers, but if you’ll just get me some water, I’ll wipe off the worst of the dust.”

Shay brought the bucket of water from the spring, and a soft cloth and wiped the dust of the road off Brady’s face. She treasured every stroke of the cloth as it touched her husband’s face. He looked older and there was some gray in his dark brown hair. She gently touched the lines beside his still-vivid blue eyes. He looked so beautiful to her.

Slowly she wiped off the accumulated grime of weeks of riding, adoring every inch of skin revealed. As Shay pushed Brady’s shirt off his shoulders, she traced a long scar on his left arm.

“I got that in the invasion. But it’s not a battle wound, it was an exploding glass window, a big piece cut right through my shirt.” Feeling her touching another scar on his lower back, he said, “But that one was caused by an actual claw.”

The scar was jagged and extended at least six inches, and was far too close to his kidneys for comfort. Shay brought her arms around to the Brady’s front and opened his jeans, one button at a time. She pushed them over his lean hips, waiting while he stepped out of them. Underwear was now an anachronism, so he was naked in front of her.

The bucket of water was grimy, so Shay dumped it outside the door in her small flower bed, and went to pull another bucketful of water. She walked down the short path to the spring, feeling Brady’s eyes on her back as she went. The respite was welcome. Brady’s return was so overwhelming, and she didn’t want to break down in tears right in front of him and ruin their reunion. Dipping her bucket into the spring of cold water, she pressed her eyes closed tight and tried to focus on the joy of their reunion.

Ten years! Another few months and she would have been forcibly paired with a man who could give her children. Even now, if she didn’t get pregnant, they would make her have sex with someone who could impregnate her. If she were fertile, anyway. But those problems would have to wait for another day.

Shay tossed her long blonde braid over her shoulder and started back toward the house. Brady was standing in the open doorway, completely naked and obviously delighted to see her. Oh my! She hurried toward him, dropping the bucket and oblivious of the water spilling onto the ground. Road dust be damned!

Shay flung herself into Brady’s waiting arms, and he lifted her off her feet. His kisses burned into her lips and she opened hers to allow him entrance. She felt his hands stroke down her back and lift the bottom of her cotton shirt to pull it over her head. Bras were also gone, not all new things were bad, so now she was naked from the waist up.

Brady stroked his hands back down her back and slipped his fingers into the waistband of her long cotton skirt. He pulled it down over her hips, feeling how much thinner she was. He remembered her as a little more than curvy, and always fretting about it. No amount of reassurance had convinced her that her love found every line, every curve of her endearing and enticing. Now she was more like the frame she had sought in that long ago day, and he found her just the same, it was her heart and her soul that he loved, the heart that had waited so long, and the soul with the strength to resist the pressures put on her to move forward and leave their love behind.

Now that they were both completely nude, Brady couldn’t stop caressing her, giving her little biting kisses that followed the pathways made by his hands on her flesh. He moved from her mouth to her neck, inhaling the fragrance that, even now without scented cosmetics available, was uniquely and sweetly hers. His lips descended to the rounded mounds of her breast, hands stroking, cupping, and lips closing over a rosy tip. He heard her gasp as he grazed her lightly with his teeth.

Shay was as hungry for Brady as he was for her. Her own hands roamed over the planes and valley of his skin, tingling with awareness. She pressed her lips to his shoulder and closed her eyes. No amount of contact could make up for ten years of doubt and worry, but it was enough to have him back at her side now. When Brady pressed the length of his lean masculine body against hers, she whimpered. Then she took his hand and pulled him toward the bedroom, trembling slightly with emotion and need.

Brady kept his other hand on Shay’s waist, needing to touch her with both hands. She looked so beautiful, even more beautiful than he remembered, and had her skin always been this soft? Her hair in that braid was catching his attention too. The moment they entered the bedroom and fell to the bed, tangled in each other’s arms, Brady pulled the braid loose, sinking his hands in the long waves. She had worn it shoulder length before, now it fell around both of them in a silken curtain. He moaned deep in this throat and captured her mouth in a kiss.

“Now, Brady, I’ve waited so long, now!”

“I missed you so much,’ He said, stroking her body in long, slow sweeps. “I want to relearn every inch of you.” As his hand slipped between her thighs, he felt how ready she was for him.

“We have time. But this time, this first time again, I want you inside me, now! I ache for you.”

Brady pressed Shay’s thighs apart with one muscular leg and slid inside her in one smooth stroke. He groaned and held still. “Give me just a minute, I don’t want to end it this soon.”

“I love you inside me,” Shay gasped, wrapping her legs around his waist and clutching Brady to her with both arms.

“Oh, Shay,” Brady pushed slowly, building a rhythm, in, out, pressing against just the spot inside her that he remembered made her writhe. And he wasn’t disappointed at her reaction.

“Brady, oh my God! I love you so much!” And just like that she was over the top.

Her muscles contracted around him, and he was quick to follow her into bliss. “I love you, Shay,” he cried out.

As her love collapsed on top of her, spent for the moment, Shay prayed that Brady would be able to impregnate her, and soon. If not, they would be forced to have another man in her bed, and she hated the idea. But the Event had made fertile people very valuable, and the Others were out there, probably getting ready to attack again. Shay would have to make sure and have a baby for the sake of humanity.

But for today, for this Thanksgiving, Shay had the love of her life back, in her arms and in her bed. And that was more than enough.

Zombie Pilgrims on Parade

2009-11-18T15:19:00.001-08:00

ZOMBIE PILGRIMS ON PARADE

“Welcome everyone to the 30^th annual Graves Department Store Thanksgiving day Parade! I’m Zanku Kitty, here with my co-host Grief Abandon. How’s it hanging Grief?”

“It fell off, Kitty, but thanks for asking.”

“Oops, my bad. Well you can’t have everything, Grief.”

“I wasn’t going to mention your nose, Kitty.”

“Well I never!”

“Even if you did, I couldn’t do anything about it. Can we move on, please? I see the first float is heading our way.”

“Zombietown, Massachusetts is known for this spectacle on Thanksgiving Day every year, Grief The residents do their best to attract as many tourists as possible to share their Thanksgiving Feast.”

“A truly welcoming atmosphere here, Kitty, and this float received the Mayor’s Prize for epitomizing this year’s theme, “Lend a helping Hand.” That lovely young thing at the front is waving the mayor’s actual hand, loaned to us for this occasion. Don’t lose that hand, Wendy, the mayor needs it to sign the Parks Bill next week.”

“And coming up next is the High School Shuffling Band. You have to admire these young people for their determination. Most of the percussion section had their hands sewn on extra tight, just for today’s performance. Can’t have a repeat of last year, Grief!”

“That was quite a melee, Kitty, all those kids digging through that pile of limbs trying to match whose hands were whose. I’m glad they took precautions, be prepared, I always say!”

“That’s good advice, Grief. Maybe you should have taken it yourself last night.”

“Do we have to keep getting personal, Kitty?”

“Sorry, Grief. But if a certain body part were to show up, what would it be worth to you?”

“Kitty, you bitch! What do you... Our producer indicates it’s time for a message from our sponsor, Graves Department Store, the store that helps you keep it all together. We’ll be right back.”

***

“Welcome back to the parade, I’m Zanku Kitty.”

“And I am Grief Abandon. We are starting to see a few of the parade-watchers heading indoors now. With the icy wind, there have been a few wardrobe malfunctions, and some of the mama’s don’t want their little zombies to see anything fall off that they didn’t know was there to start with. But I’m sure we’ll see them all later at the big feast.”

“Along with all of our wonderful visitors, Grief. The city council has extended their usual gracious invitation to all the living to come join us and bring their brains, er, families. It’s sure to be a delicious spread.”

“Let’s talk about the float approaching us right now. It’s certainly unusual, Kitty.”

“Yes, it is, Grief. My notes tell me that it is the Merchant’s Prize winner, selected for its fine selection of Zombietown’s wares. The town is known for it’s outstanding prosthetic devices. The young people modeling these fine products are members of the local sports teams. As you can imagine, they are big fans of the artificial limbs produced here.”

“Yes they are, Kitty.”

“Perhaps you should stop by one of the shops after the parade, Grief.”

“Shut up, Kitty.”

“If you think I’m going back to the motel with you with that big gaping hole in your....”

“Kitty!”

“Look, Grief, here comes the Mayor himself, Bob N. Bob and his death-partner, Chompers. Hello, Mr. Mayor. Do you have a few words for our viewers at home?”

“Hello, Kitty, Grief. It’s a great day for the parade and for the town! I want to remind all of our visitors to be sure to come to the town hall after the parade for the big feed. It’s always an experience!”

“Thank you, Mr. Mayor.”

“You’re welcome, Grief. And you’re looking very nice today, Kitty.”

“Thank you, Mr. Mayor. At least someone around here is a gentleman!”

“You’re very welcome, Kitty. After all, a nose isn’t everything. Many of our finest citizens are among the noseless.”

“Mr. Mayor, I think Kitty is overcome with emotion at your kind words. Perhaps you’d better rejoin the parade. NOW!”

“I see what you mean, Grief. Let’s go, Chompers. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Mayor. Keep up the good work, Chompers.”

“Grief, what does Chompers do again?”

“The mayor. Look, Kitty, here comes the Founders Float.”

“Zombietown, Massachusetts is the only town in all of North America featuring the actual founding fathers riding on a float.”

“Look at Zedediah Claw. No, Daddy Claw, no don’t wave! Shoot, somebody pick up Daddy Claw’s hand and tuck it in his jacket. These founding father’s get so enthusiastic, they forget how breakable they are.”

“He’s probably excited about the feast, Grief. Remember, all you tourists are invited to the feast immediately after the parade. Just come right on in, someone will take care of you.”

“Here comes Santa Claus!”

“The kiddies are getting really excited. This is the first year they could find anyone to fill out the suit. Hiya, Santa!”

“Hello Kitty! Have you been a good girl this year?”

“Why, Santa, you old devil, you tell me.”

“Him too, Kitty?”

“Don’t you look at me like that! I can’t be exclusive with someone who just falls apart at the least little thing.”

“What do you want for Christmas, Grief?”

“All I want for Christmas is my ...”

“I can tell you what he wants, Santa, can I sit in your lap?”

“Sure thing, little girl, whisper right here in old Santa’s ear.”

“Kitty, don’t you dare! Don’t be sharing our private business with that old rickety lech.”

“I see, Kitty, I see. That is a problem. Grief, you want to come up here on Santa’s lap and tell him what size you’d like?”

“Oh my God, Kitty!”

“I was only trying to help, Grief. Santa understands that, don’t you stud?”

“We are almost out of time, here. Kitty and I would like to thank you for joining us for the Graves Department Store Thanksgiving Day Parade. It’s time to head on down to the town hall for dinner. I hope to see you all there, with bells on.”

A Thanksgiving Pie Tale

2009-11-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO THE FIFTIETH ANNUAL THANKSGIVING DAY BACHELOR AUCTION AND PIE BAKE-OFF read the sign outside the Town Hall in this little hamlet at the edge of nowhere. The travellers where surprised to see such an event in a small town, but curious, so they pulled into the little parking lot in front of the building.

“Do you think they mind strangers coming?” Cassandra slung her purse over her shoulder as she stepped out of the little red MG convertible.

“Oh, I doubt it, Cassie,” said Angela. “Or they wouldn’t have such a big sign up. Anyway, the worst they can do is tell us to go away.” The two women began to walk up to the big metal quonset hut that housed the Town Hall. There were quite a few pick-up trucks and some cars parked around the building, and the big double doors were open wide.

Inside, it was crowded, and nearly everyone looked like they came from the local farm areas, but there were a few people who also looked like tourists among them. They strolled around the edge of the room. The pie bake-off had already happened, apparently, and they were offered samples of the winning pies.

“Mmmm, did you taste this apple pie, Cassie? Lots of cinnamon, I love that.”

“I like the pumpkin with the crumbly topping, wow, can these country people bake pies. I just buy them at the bakery when I bring them for Thanksgiving at Mom’s.”

“Look,” said Angela, “I think it’s time for the auction to begin, everyone is going over to that end of the hall by the little podium. Let’s go watch.”

“Okay, but I’m taking another piece of this yummy pie. I didn’t even see the chocolate one. I really wish I knew how to bake. I’d bid on anyone who could bake like this. It’s a shame none of the bachelors is a pie baker.”

“You’d really bid on a guy just because he could bake a pie?” Angela could hardly control her giggles. “You really would? You swear?”

“Angie, I get tired of fast food and I can only burn water on a good day. I can’t live forever on microwave popcorn. So, yes, I swear, if there were a guy who could bake a silky, dark chocolate cream pie like this one, I’d not only bid on him, I’d marry him.”

Angela couldn’t control herself any longer, she clutched her stomach and bent over laughing, revealing what had been behind her on the wall. A poster that said,

COME ONE COME ALL

AND BID

ON THE HOTTEST PIE BAKING BACHELORS

IN THE COUNTY

ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT

STYXTOWN FOOD BANK

Cassandra turned pale as her sister continued to convulse in helpless laughter. “It’s not funny, Angie. You set me up!”

“Like you haven’t set me up a hundred times! I wouldn’t be married to Sam now if you hadn’t set me up on that blind date. Looks like we’d better take a seat and see which of our handsome bachelors made that yummy chocolate pie.”

Cassie knew how much Angela loved Sam. He was with his platoon on maneuvers, and Angie missed him dreadfully. She was worried he’d be sent to Iraq next, and this trip was supposed to be a distraction. Home for Thanksgiving was just too lonely without Sam. “Okay, you know I never back out on bet. I guess this was a bet. I only hope he’s my type.”

A matronly woman in a floral dress and a flower-trimmed hat stepped up to the microphone, “Welcome to the auction! I know you’re all anxious to bid on a bunch of guys with such a crisp crust and well-spiced filling.” There was a polite smattering of applause and a few chuckles from the assembled audience. “Without any further ado, here is your Master of Ceremonies, Bianca Hatfield.”

From off to the side, up stepped a young woman dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a short black jacket, her long auburn hair pulled up in a tight ponytail. She raised her arms and said, “We begin! Gentlemen, this way please!” And at her call, a dozen men walked up in front of her and turned to face the waiting crowd. “Here they are, ladies, the finest pie bakers Miner County has to offer! Remember, when you bid all the money goes to charity, so be generous.”

The men lined up in front of the audience were all sizes and shapes and ranged in age from about twenty to maybe forty-five. They were all smiling, and a few of them were blushing at the catcalls that had begun with their arrival. The country crowd was getting rowdy and having fun with these men they had known all their lives.

“All right! We will begin with baker of the Crispy Apple Tart. Let me remind you ladies that you not only win the bachelor in question, but also a baking session in their own home kitchen to recreate their winning pie! What am I bid for the bachelor responsible for the Crispy Apple Tart?”

Cassie scanned the men to see who would step forward and take credit for the delicious apple tart she’d tasted. Not one of the men moved forward or stepped onto the podium. “Angie, do you think he’s not there? Why doesn’t one of them step forward?”

Angela craned her neck over the tall woman seated in front of her. “I don’t know, Cassie.”

The bidding had begun, starting at twenty dollars and climbing to over three hundred before the auctioneer called, “Going, going, gone! Sold for three hundred fifty dollars! Now, anyone have a guess who our winner, Mamie, bought to make her a pie?”

Cassie was amazed to observe that it had been a secret auction. Those who lived here obviously knew the rules and were good-naturedly calling out guesses, until the auctioneer said, “Pie-maker, show yourself!”

A man stepped forward, to cheers and whistles from his friends in the audience. “Never knew you could make apple pie, Ed!” yelled a masculine voice from toward the back. “Thought you were a pumpkin man!”

“Nope, apples have always been first in my heart and my pan!” said Ed as Mamie, an apple-cheeked woman about his age, led him away.”

“I have my doubts about whether there is total secrecy here,” Cassie whispered to Angie after watching three more happy couples wander off to the back of the hall.

“We’ll see, which one do you think made the chocolate?” She looked under her lashes at her sister, who had been staring at one corner of the line of guys the entire time the bidding had been going on.

“Oh, I don’t care,” she said. “I probably won’t win him anyway. I don’t have the kind of money it will take for the Best of Show pie.”

“But if you could? Which one?”

“The one with the white shirt, and the black boots.”

“Wow! He is pretty cute, but not your usual type, you usually go for the blonde, urban types.”

“I think I’m tired of the usual types. They haven’t worked out so far, have they? I think I’m ready for the cowboy type, with all that wavy black hair and those chocolate brown eyes. Think it’s a hint?”

“I don’t know, Cass. Let’s hope so, I like your new type.”

The bidding continued, and with each bid Cassie’s heart beat louder. Would he be the next one to go? The others were okay, but she was getting awfully set on that guy on the end. He was tall, she noticed, and his jeans hugged his hips in a way that she really liked. “Do you think they’ll turn around so we can see the other view?” she whispered to Angie then blushed furiously as she realized what she’d said.

Angie was lost in giggles once again, clutching her side. “I had no idea this little car trip would turn out to be so much fun! Maybe you should ask, no, I will!” and before Cassie could stop her, Angie called out, “We want to see the rear view!”

“All right, we have a request from the audience!” said Bianca, looking very serious. How about it, gentlemen? Let’s see if another angle will help loosen the purse strings.”

As one, the remaining six guys, the best looking of the original dozen, turned to face the stage. A line of jean-clad behinds faced the audience and the cat calls grew in volume.

There were even a few shrill whistles and masculine laughter was very audible.

“How is that? Everyone got a good look?” The guys turned back around, laughing themselves. Overall, the afternoon was fun for everyone present, and the hilarity was growing with each winning bid.

The next bachelor was the one who had baked a banana cream pie. Not only did that get the crowd going, but two ladies were very determined and managed to bid up to almost a thousand dollars before one waved to the other and said, “All yours, I don’t need banana cream pie that much.” If it got much wilder in there, someone was going to have to call the riot squad.

Cassie’s heart sank, though. If the bids were this high now, they were only going to get higher. She knew which guy she wanted, and she’d sworn to bid on the chocolate cream pie. Even if they were one and the same, it was bound to be more money than she had.

The next three bachelors were bid on and won, the ladies squealing with delight and the guys smiling and accepting the hugs and kisses and pats on the behind as they passed through the crowd. It was down to only two pies and two guys. Cassie held her breath. If the guy with the chocolate eyes had baked the Second Place autumn pear pie, she was done for.

“They’re both cute, Cass,” whispered Angie. “Either way, it should be fun.”

But Cassie had her heart set on the guy with the beautiful eyes (and cutest butt) and was prepared to be heartbroken if she didn’t get him. This is ridiculous! I don’t even know him, and I’m acting like we’re going to break up or something. She watched the bidding on the next-to-last pie rise to almost twelve hundred dollars and waited to see what would happen. When the auctioneer said, “Sold to Amber Conahee for twelve hundred dollars,” the two men looked at each other, then at the audience, and Cassie knew she wasn’t the only one holding her breath.

Then, just as she thought she might turn blue, chocolate-eyes took a step back. He was still in the running. He was the only man standing, and she was about to take the chance of her life.

“Do you think they’ll take a check, Angie?”

“I saw one lady pay with one, Cassie, so yeah, they probably will. How much are you planning to bid?”

“I have two thousand three hundred twenty dollars in my checking account.”

“And?”

“All of it.”

Angie looked at her, big eyed. “All of it?”

“Yep, for once in my life I am going to do exactly what I want to do. I get paid next week, I’ll be okay.”

“Ladies,” began the auctioneer, “ I know how many of you had a piece of that delicious Dark Chocolate Dream pie. And I know you’ve probably guessed by now who the baker might be. Shall we open at five hundred dollars?”

The audience was much quieter for a moment. Then,“five hundred,” shouted a petite redhead, waving money over her head.

“Six!” shouted another and the bidding was fast and furious until it reached the two thousand dollar mark, when it began to slow. Cassie joined the bidding early on, and more and more women had dropped out until it was now between her and the redhead who had bid first.

“Two thousand three hundred!” the redhead yelled, and the crowd went wild.

“Two thousand three hundred twenty.” said Cassie, clutching her checkbook. She saw now that the object of her desire was looking straight at her. He was so handsome, and she saw kindness in his eyes and laugh lines by his mouth. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anyone or anything in her life.

“Two thousand three hundred twenty-five,” screamed the redhead.

Cassie felt despair begin to gather around her like a dark cloak. She had no more money, none at all. It was over. She turned to congratulate the redhead and felt her sister press something into her hand. It was a fifty dollar bill.

“Get him, Cass! Sam and I owe you for helping us find each other.”

“Two thousand three hundred seventy!” Cassie shouted, voice hoarse with emotion.

She looked around, and the redhead looked back at her, then grinned and shook her head.

“Any other bids?” asked Bianca. “No? Okay then, going, going gone. Sold to the pretty blonde in row three. Thanks, honey, that money will do a lot of good.”

Cassie stood frozen by her seat. She had won him, what was she going to do now?

What was I thinking? He’s headed this way! I don’t even know him, what have I done?

Then he was standing right in front of her.

“I’m Bob Stone and you must have really liked that pie.” His eyes twinkled gold flecks in the dark brown reflecting the light.

“I did, and I understand you’re making me another one?”

“You bet, come with me and we’ll get started. What are you doing for dinner?”

Angie shook her head, “Don’t mind me, I’ll check into the motel. Going to do everything you said you’d do with the maker of that pie, Sis?”

Cassie smiled, “You never know.”

Angie watched her sister walk away, hand in hand with the tall cowboy in the tight jeans. She shook her head, it wasn’t like Cassie to fall this hard. But she was due, it was about time she let her heart lead her. As Cassie walked out the door, Angie felt someone standing close to her.

“That girl got lucky,” said Bianca, the afternoon’s auctioneer.

“He does seem nice,” said Angie.

Bianca smiled. She pointed to the window where they could see Cassie reaching on tiptoe as Bob bent to press his lips against hers. “They’ll be fine. They’ve both been waiting for each other. It works like that here sometimes, if you’re very lucky.”

I MET A VAMPIRE - A HALLOWEEN STORY

2009-11-11T11:21:00.000-08:00

I MET A VAMPIRE, nd I know this for absolute sure, this time. I was going home later than usual, a little after dark, and decided to cut across the park in the middle of town. It’s faster that way. I just barely had time to make my appointment with the cable guy. It was real hard to get the appointment for after six, and I was no way gonna miss it. Another week without Idol just wasn’t something I was willing to face. It’s such a cool show. Do you watch it?

Sorry, ok, I’ll go on.

I had just come to the part of the path where there are those big, tall trees on both sides, that kind of crowd into the pathway, you know? Anyway, I almost walked right up to him, he was just there. I think he appeared or something, you know how they do.

He was just there. He was standing in the path, not walking or anything, I couldn’t walk past him without saying somethin. So I said, “Hey, how ya doing?” and he didn’t answer me. He may have been standing still, but I was walking, so I was getting closer and I was starting to worry that something was wrong, maybe he was deaf. I didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings. So I thought I’d get closer and smile, nod, something friendly like that.

It’s weird enough to run into someone you don’t know here, nobody comes to this town that doesn’t have people here, unless it’s like a Keebler delivery man or something. And this guy was no delivery man. So I wanted to be really friendly, make a good impression. I think that’s real important and....

What? Oh, okay.

He was a little taller than average, about like Bob Clem over there, maybe six one or two. Wearing black pants, nice, not like work pants, and a blue shirt. I’m not sure what silk looks like, but I think it might have been silk. It was really smooth.

But that was later on. He looked kinda like he worked out, big and strong, you know? And his hair a little long and had these curls that fell over his forehead. But not girly, no not girly at all.

I’ll try to tell this how it happened though. I kept walking and when I got close I couldn’t get past him on the path without him moving or me stepping into the trees. And I was no way going off into that dirt in my nice work outfit, It was brand new, and cost a lot,. If it went into them trees I was going to snag my hose for sure, and my shoes would be beat all to hell, heck, well beat bad.

So, one of us had to move. And I said “Excuse me, would you please step over so I can pass?” as polite as you could ever imagine. And he still didn’t say anything. But he looked at me. And his eyes were amazing. They were dark brown, I think, or maybe black. I don’t think he blinked at all. And then I couldn’t move. I saw him coming toward me, and I didn’t mind at all.

Fact, I was so happy that I walked right up to him, wrapped my arms around his neck and planted one on him, right on the lips! You all know me, known me all my life. I don’t kiss strangers, at least I didn’t til then. He made me do it. I ran my hands down his back over that silky shirt, and pressed the whole front of my body into his, there was no open space between us. And he didn’t say nothing, but he kissed me back, hard, and it felt good. I know he had me under some sort of mind control, because I woudn’t ever be standing in the park kissing some stranger, and I sure as heck wouldn’t have done what I did next.

I asked him back to my place. I did, as bold as you please. I said, “Come with me now,” and I reached for his hand, and grabbed it, and pulled him along the path til we got to the little bridge. Now, I hear tell that flowing water is a problem for some of them, but he crossed right over that bridge, or maybe it was holy water I was thinking of, I don’t know. But whatever, he came with me out of the park, and walked across First Street and stopped on my porch. He didn’t move til I said, “Come on in.” He just stood there looking around.

That’s another reason I think what I do, he didn’t come in til I said to. I hear they have to be invited in. And he came in and stuff and then he left before morning. That’s it, that’s what happened.

Oh, I’m sorry. You need details? I don’t really want to tell all that stuff, it’s embarrassing, even though I know it all happened because I was under his spell. But I know it’s important, for the record and all, so I’ll tell you. Or can’t I just write it down? No? Okay. I’m gonna need some water to drink before I go on. And maybe a bathroom break?

Okay, where was I? Yes, I asked him into my house. I guess that’s important because they can’t come in otherwise, right? Anyway, I told him to come in and sit right down on the davenport. And he did. And I set right down next to him, close up. I couldn’t stop looking into those eyes. I hadn’t turned on any lights and it was kind of dim in the living room, but it looked like those eyes were lit up from inside, almost like a fire deep inside. And he finally said something to me. He said, “Who are you?” and I knew he wanted me.

I leaned into him and wrapped those long, strong arms around me and pulled me real tight against that soft, soft shirt. It was blue, I think, pretty sure. The streetlight coming through the window made the silk a little shiny, that’s another reason I said I thought it was silk? It’s shiny isn’t it? I don’t have anything silk. I did have that nylon shirt, it was soft and... oh, I’m sorry, I get a little distracted sometimes. The next thing I knew, he had magicked me into taking him into my bedroom. I would never do anything like this, except I was under his spell, you understand.

So we started kissing again, and hugging and I unbuttoned his shirt and he put his hand down the front of my top and we kept on kissing. He was real warm, they aren’t supposed to be warm, are they? And he ran his tongue right down the side of my neck, and I waited and waited.

No, he didn’t bite me. I thought he would. I was sure he would. Why else would he put me under his spell like that. But he didn’t He just kept kissing me and finally I said, “What’s wrong? Not good enough to bite?” and he looked up.

He looked right at me with those brown lit up eyes and lied. “I wouldn’t bite you,”

he says to me. “You looking for someone to bite you?”

“ I know what you are!” I said. “You magicked me here with those eyes of yours and now you gotta bite me and bring me over. We’ll be together forever!”

And I swear, I never seen nobody run so fast! He jumped off the davenport tripped over the coffee table, and made for the front door Didn’t even say good-bye. And I know why, too. Once he knew I was onto him, he had to go. He knew I’d run right down here and tell you all and he’d be in big trouble. If I could escape, that is. And if he didn’t make me one of them. I guess a good churchgoing woman like me can’t be one. But he could have tried couldn’t he? .

So tonight I met a vampire. But he got away.